My husband, Ryan, has never gotten a speeding ticket. 36 years old, never had a speeding ticket.
This weekend? He got pulled over for doing 84 in a 70 mile an hour zone.
He knew he was busted the second he saw the trooper at the bottom of the hill. He said it before the lights even came on. He actually got over in the right lane to prepare to stop while the trooper was pulling out in to traffic. "Oh, this isn't good," he said.
Nope, it wasn't, but I was loving it.
Now, first of all, let me just say I know that makes me a horrible person. I should be supporting my husband at all times, and never taking delight in his foibles. But THE MAN HAS NEVER HAD A TICKET! Me? I've had lots of tickets. Driving is not what you would call my "forte." I've been to traffic school so many times I could have a Masters degree. When our insurance goes up I am the reason. And every time I get a ticket? Or get in a little "fender bender"? I am reminded that Ryan has a perfect driving record.
All that was going to change though.
I very helpfully got out the insurance card and the registration for the Trooper as he walked up to the car. "Going a little fast, sir," he said. Ryan admitted it, saying he realized that hill had gotten the better of him. The trooper took our information and said he would be right back.
I wondered if it would be mean to have the ticket framed for Ryan as an anniversary gift. I thought about the advice I would give him about driving school. I wondered how long I should wait before I blogged about the ticket. I texted Tara immediately.
Me: Ryan is getting a speeding ticket.The trooper came back.
Tara: Tell him NOT to thank the cop.
"I'm going to let you off with a warning this time," he said, "because you are the only person who admitted to speeding today."
My jaw dropped. I grabbed my phone.
Me: He got off with A WARNING!I think she was more disappointed than I was. That's why I like her so much.
Tara: Of course he did! Who would give Ryan a ticket?
Me: He said Ryan was the only person all day who admitted to speeding, so he gave him a warning.
Tara: That is EXACTLY how I would have written that scene.
I know, for a fact, that if I had been driving I would have gotten a ticket. Maybe even two. I probably would have gotten one for texting Tara while waiting for my other tickets. Then Ryan would have told me once again about his perfect driving record.
You know, the one that is still intact...