Monday, February 27, 2012

Not Fair

My husband, Ryan, has never gotten a speeding ticket. 36 years old, never had a speeding ticket.

This weekend? He got pulled over for doing 84 in a 70 mile an hour zone.

He knew he was busted the second he saw the trooper at the bottom of the hill. He said it before the lights even came on. He actually got over in the right lane to prepare to stop while the trooper was pulling out in to traffic. "Oh, this isn't good," he said.

Nope, it wasn't, but I was loving it.

Now, first of all, let me just say I know that makes me a horrible person. I should be supporting my husband at all times, and never taking delight in his foibles. But THE MAN HAS NEVER HAD A TICKET! Me? I've had lots of tickets. Driving is not what you would call my "forte." I've been to traffic school so many times I could have a Masters degree. When our insurance goes up I am the reason. And every time I get a ticket? Or get in a little "fender bender"? I am reminded that Ryan has a perfect driving record.

All that was going to change though.

I very helpfully got out the insurance card and the registration for the Trooper as he walked up to the car. "Going a little fast, sir," he said. Ryan admitted it, saying he realized that hill had gotten the better of him. The trooper took our information and said he would be right back.

I wondered if it would be mean to have the ticket framed for Ryan as an anniversary gift. I thought about the advice I would give him about driving school. I wondered how long I should wait before I blogged about the ticket. I texted Tara immediately.
Me: Ryan is getting a speeding ticket.
Tara: Tell him NOT to thank the cop. 
The trooper came back.

"I'm going to let you off with a warning this time," he said, "because you are the only person who admitted to speeding today."

My jaw dropped. I grabbed my phone.
Me: He got off with A WARNING!
Tara: Of course he did! Who would give Ryan a ticket?
Me: He said Ryan was the only person all day who admitted to speeding, so he gave him a warning.
Tara: That is EXACTLY how I would have written that scene. 
I think she was more disappointed than I was. That's why I like her so much.

I know, for a fact, that if I had been driving I would have gotten a ticket. Maybe even two. I probably would have gotten one for texting Tara while waiting for my other tickets. Then Ryan would have told me once again about his perfect driving record.

You know, the one that is still intact...


Riot Kitty said...

No way! That is totally unfair, you're right. I stopped speeding so much when I got two tickets within a month of each other. But I have usually been able to talk the (male) cops into lowering the speed entered onto the ticket, vs. the speed I was actually going.

G said...

I've been able to get away with just warnings over the years, simply because I would admit point blank to whatever transgression I happened to do.

BTW, haven't gotten a ticket since 2004 for a seat belt violation.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Awesome!!! Of course, he can't really hold it over you for long because he WAS stopped and he WAS speeding, there's just no physical ticket or infraction on his record...oh...damn. Okay, maybe he can. PAH!

Would it help you to know that I too have a perfect driving record? *duck*

Kelly said...

My husband was the same kind of gloater until he had an accident and a speeding ticket within the same month.

Then there was that time that he backed into my car in our driveway.

So glad his perfect record is no more. Also so glad that I can remind him about wrecking both of our cars in the freaking driveway.

for a different kind of girl said...

I'm tucking this idea into my memory bank for when I am once again, inevitably, pulled over (good god, I travel the same route to and from work and I know, I KNOW where the cop sits to trap people but still I speed!) and see if it works for me!

missohkay said...

Ha, sorry your husband didn't get a ticket ;) I've only had one. I got pulled over doing 68 in a 55. I admitted to speeding. He asked if I'd had a ticket in the last three years and I said, "No! I've never even been pulled over before!" (The truth.) He said, "That's great. But you're getting one today." Damn it.

The Twisted Tine said...

...that is awesome, and at the same time, I'm sorry. :)

As an adult male, I've been pulled over a few times, and ticketed only once. And the one time, it was totally worth it. I do remember thanking the CHP for it. A very cordial exchange.

I was smiling as I paid my ticket.