Tuesday, November 2, 2010

This Too Shall Pass

I have a lot of thoughts on tonight's elections. If you have read this blog before, you probably know what they are. However, I am trying not to dwell on panic, and despair, and anger though, since that doesn't do anything for anyone. After all, it's anger and fear that got us into this situation, so maybe we need to try hope and acceptance to get us out of it.

I know! How about a joke? My sister's friend Lisa sent me a great one I think is perfect for this situation...

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrived in heaven and was met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the Senator..

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," said the Senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and he went down, down, down to hell.

The doors opened and he found himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance was a clubhouse and standing in front of it were all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone was very happy and in evening dress. They ran to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dined on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present was the devil, who really was a very friendly guy who was having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They were all having such a good time that before the Senator realized it, it was time to go. Everyone gave him a hearty farewell and waved while the elevator rose...

The elevator went up, up, up and the door reopened in heaven where St. Peter was waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven.."

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They had a good time and, before he realized it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returned.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Senator reflected for a minute, then answered: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and he, once again, went down, down, down to hell..

The doors of the elevator opened and he found himself in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He saw all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash fell from above.

The devil came over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammered the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil smiled at him and said, "Yesterday we were campaigning ... Today, you voted.."

In my version the devil has the face of Glen Beck.

Yeah, I'll start the hope and acceptance thing tomorrow...


Deidra said...

Wow. Did not see that coming. That's clever!

Jessica and Reecey said...

Chin up... at least Christine O'Donnell lost. Then again, Jason Chaffetz had like 78 percent of the vote. What is this world coming to?

G said...


Variation using a corrupt senator instead of a lawyer, doctor, CEO, etc.

What the world is coming to is the vast realization that what the minority wants for the majority, the majority doesn't want.

Anonymous said...


awesome :)

BugginWord said...

I can't even look at the color-coded map of Jersey right now. *sigh*

Kelly said...

Our state took a huge step backwards yesterday. So sad.

Amanda said...

All I can keep holding on to, is that Christine O'Donnell & Meg Whitman lost their races. So did Pol Pot, I mean Philpot. I am still a bit stymied about the gubernatorial race here - Herbert? Really?

JenS said...

Ok, I spit my water out on my keyboard with that. Thanks for the laugh!

Daniel said...

That... that was good.

Y'know, it's bizarre... 8 years ago, I followed politics quite fiercely. I've voted republican, democrat, and stood in line at polling places. I debated and argued with friends, and I've felt like I've made all the difference, and none of the difference.

I didn't vote this year. Soon as I saw my absentee ballot, I tore it up and tossed it.

And the weird thing is, I'm still young, and I have energy and thoughts and opinions... but I'm so pissed and bitter and surly that I don't want to have any part with it. I much prefer to walk away and just take whatever is thrown at me.

Maybe that'll change before I can vote again, but... eh. I just want to see this country get kicked in the balls, real hard, and then maybe see if we can find some folks that can do at least a half-assed job at putting it back together again.

Riot Kitty said...

That's awesome!

Anonymous said...

fantastic joke

Rassles said...

If I believed in email forwards, I would pass this one on.