Monday, November 1, 2010

Worry, Worry, Worry

Parents worry about kids. It's just how it goes. Everyone knows that from the moment they consider becoming a parent. What no one tells you is just how much you worry. It never stops.

Since Meg was born I have worried about things I never thought possible. I have worried she is eating too little. Eating too much. Eating too much of the bad things, and too little of the good. Worried we are not diverse enough. That we are pushing diversity too much. That she isn't reading enough. That we are forcing books on her. That we spend too much time with her. That she spends too much time entertaining herself.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. Or maybe you don't. I will worry about that later.

Of course, nothing makes worry worse than a sick baby -- and Meg is sick right now. I am monitoring ever move she makes. Her eyes. Her appetite. Her sleep patterns. Her ridiculously gross runny nose. When she is clinging to me. When she is not. Every slight change in temperature.

Again, I could go on.

Here's the thing though: I don't want to stop worrying. While it drives me crazy and makes me pull out my eyebrows (topic for another post), I can't imagine not worrying this way. Not wanting to worry this way. This child is the greatest gift I have ever gotten, and I want to be present at every moment -- even if some of them make me want to scream.

I guess I actually don't mind the worry. It is outweighed by so many other things.

Now, the biting, and the eye poking -- those I could live without.

Actually, probably not.


Jill VT said...

I'd like to think all of the worrying is productive, somehow - it burns a lot of calories, anyway. ;)

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about the snot coming out, worry about the snot that stays in. Now, apply that to bumps, emotions, coughs, etc. *hugs to Meg and to you.*

Melinda said...

It gets should know this...snotty nose's will seem like a cakewalk when you watch your baby get in a car with her boyfriend and drive away. After you glimpsed a box of condoms in her purse. Oh crap I think I'm going to have a panic attack. *deep breath in*

Kelly said...

The worry doesn't really ever stop, but you learn to live with it a little bit more. When they get older, you also start to realize that the things you are worrying about are SO out of your control. So you still worry, you still voice that you are worried, but you sit back and hope for the best.

It's hard not to worry when they are sick, that's one of the hardest.

Anonymous said...

I really can't give good advice as I slept with half my body in the co-sleeper the first time my oldest got sick as an infant. Actually trying to keep your hand on a baby's head to monitor her temperature while you sleep helps NO ONE.
Anyway, after three I'm impervious to snot but fevers still get me.
I hope she feels better soon!

Hippo Brigade said...

Sick babes are the worst. I have one right now too. Perhaps Meg gave it to Hudson? She's wiley like that.

JenS said...

Yesterday morning I got woken up by E sneezing on my face in the predawn hours. My first thought was not to wipe the snot off my face, but to check her temperature. Hope Meg feels better soon!

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Ive never worried so much as I have since having children. My oldest is 23 and I still worry. But I think its worse when they are little and cant fully tell you what's wrong. Hope your little sweetie feels better soon.