The Internet: Not Just For Porn Any More

There is now a dating website for people in relationships looking to cheat.

Yes, you read that right.

No longer do people wanting to step out on their significant others have to prowl through the Craigslist "casual encounters" section, or talk up the office slut. They don't have to head to cheesy bars on the other side of town, and buy daiquiri after daiquiri for the girl they went to high school with whom they have reconnected with on Facebook because she says she is in a "bad marriage." They don't have to hope the new next door neighbor is as easy as she looks. All they have to do is make a profile, sit back, and wait. The site has a 100% "affair guarantee."

Isn't America great?

The site even has "as seen on" listings. Apparently it has been talked about on "Ellen," "Dr. Phil," and "Good Morning America." Of course, they don't say what was said about the site on those shows, because that would be indiscreet. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Dr. Phil is part owner of the site. What an easy way to locate future "troubled" talk show guests. Like shooting fish in a barrel.

If the media "endorsements" aren't enough, they also have a celebrity spokesperson. A real winner. Michelle "Bombshell" McGee. Yes, a woman made famous for cuckolding an Oscar winner, and her love for dressing like a Nazi. A woman of such high moral fiber that she said she did Sandra Bullock a "favor" by talking to the press about her affair with Bullock's husband.

I guess Dame Judy Dench was busy.

The best part of the whole site though, I mean apart from the wedding band in the logo, the fact it's named after a call girl who picked her name from a list of 1980's popular baby names, and the blurry "erotic" photo, is one of it's many, many tag lines: "change your life today." I guess that's accurate though. Sign up for an Internet cheating site, and your life will most definitely change, possibly even before zippers come down for the first time. After all, I'm betting the second a spouse or significant finds that page in the browser history (because really, if you are so lazy you use an Internet service to start an affair, you probably aren't great at covering your tracks) things will start changing. Things like bank accounts, addresses, and custody agreements. In some severe cases facial shape and/or genital function could change as well. Some people get really, really mad.

I bet the meaningless sex is really worth it though. Like Internet, "cats playing ping pong," worth it. That's pretty good, right? Right?