Dear Tina Fey,
Please come back to the geek girls.
Yes, you are on the cover of Vogue -- with Vogue airbrushing. But they don't love you like we do. They didn't love you when you were the fat girl who was funny asking questions from the audience on "SNL." They didn't love you when you first appeared on "Weekend Update." No, they looked at the TV and said "who the hell is she?" They said the same thing when you started on "30 Rock." Actually, what they really said was "maybe now glasses will fail and now she can't run with prime time TV people." Really, they did. I didn't want to tell you, but I heard it. I can't tell you where, but I did.
Didn't you see "Mean Girls"? Didn't you write "Mean Girls"?
The only reason the pretty people are paying you any attention is because you are an oddity to them: a smart girl who can also be considered pretty. Just wait though. Sooner or later they will remember that smart people make them feel dumb, and go back to the pretty and vapid girls. Nicole Kidman will once again be on the covers. Then the next time you see yourself on a magazine cover it will say "Tina Fey: the next Kirstie Alley?" I hate to be harsh, but someone needs to speak the truth, and bring you back from the dark side.
You know, I don't think I would mind the transformation so much if you hadn't decided Liz Lemon needed a makeover too. Oh, you think I didn't notice? She used to be my fashion icon. A woman who looked schlumpy, yet professional. A woman who looked like she just might be wearing pajamas to work, but fancy pajamas. On tonight's show? You had her wearing a zebra print tank top (with cleavage!) and a fitted mini skirt. I almost threw up.
I wish I could say I will refuse to watch your show, or see your movies until you change back. Unfortunately, I am an overweight smart girl, which means I have a low self-esteem. That means I will be waiting patiently for you when all of the pretty people turn you away. Oh, and I will probably buy you ice cream and tell you how they didn't deserve you in the first place.
Damn it I'm weak.