Thursday, March 25, 2010

Et Tu, Tina?

Dear Tina Fey,

Please come back to the geek girls.

Yes, you are on the cover of Vogue -- with Vogue airbrushing. But they don't love you like we do. They didn't love you when you were the fat girl who was funny asking questions from the audience on "SNL." They didn't love you when you first appeared on "Weekend Update." No, they looked at the TV and said "who the hell is she?" They said the same thing when you started on "30 Rock." Actually, what they really said was "maybe now glasses will fail and now she can't run with prime time TV people." Really, they did. I didn't want to tell you, but I heard it. I can't tell you where, but I did.

Didn't you see "Mean Girls"? Didn't you write "Mean Girls"?

The only reason the pretty people are paying you any attention is because you are an oddity to them: a smart girl who can also be considered pretty. Just wait though. Sooner or later they will remember that smart people make them feel dumb, and go back to the pretty and vapid girls. Nicole Kidman will once again be on the covers. Then the next time you see yourself on a magazine cover it will say "Tina Fey: the next Kirstie Alley?" I hate to be harsh, but someone needs to speak the truth, and bring you back from the dark side.

You know, I don't think I would mind the transformation so much if you hadn't decided Liz Lemon needed a makeover too. Oh, you think I didn't notice? She used to be my fashion icon. A woman who looked schlumpy, yet professional. A woman who looked like she just might be wearing pajamas to work, but fancy pajamas. On tonight's show? You had her wearing a zebra print tank top (with cleavage!) and a fitted mini skirt. I almost threw up.

I wish I could say I will refuse to watch your show, or see your movies until you change back. Unfortunately, I am an overweight smart girl, which means I have a low self-esteem. That means I will be waiting patiently for you when all of the pretty people turn you away. Oh, and I will probably buy you ice cream and tell you how they didn't deserve you in the first place.

Damn it I'm weak.

Best wishes,



just making my way said...

She'll be back. Especially when she realizes none of those people get her jokes.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Yeah I agree with the above comment. She's being sucked in by the glamor. It can happen to the best of us.

melistress said...

As a smart, almost pretty (but not quite) overweight girl, I am going to be up front and honest here and say that if suddenly the glamour side started paying attention to me and suddenly gave this "Ugly Betty" a makeover, I would probably be pretty enticed to venture over to the dark side too. I'm human. Tina is human. She will be back. I hope.

Jules said...

I still quote "Mean Girls"...even though I actually WAS a Mean Girl...

But all through my sister's high school I would say to her, "What happens if you have sex?"

She'd roll her eyes and say, "I'll get pregnant and die."

I'd smile and say, "That's right."

I think it's a good parenting style. Keep that in mind.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Tina is awesome. I like her ability to make Liz Lemon normal and clutzy and petty and scheming and drop food on her shirt etc., etc. She's every woman. So I'll let her tank top and mini slide. I saw last night's episode but don't even remember that outfit. Jeeze! I do like that Tina's a great, average sized lady who wears glasses and looks beautiful in an every day way and think Vogue are effing hypocrites because if she wasn't funny there's just no way they'd entertain the notion of a lady who isn't a size zero on their damn cover.

mylittlebecky said...

this made me giggle. thanks :)

Eternally Distracted said...

You sing it Sistahhhhh... don't be weak. DON'T BE WEAK I SAY

Aunt Becky said...


GregoryJ said...

I apologize for the comment I made on your blog.

Sandi said...

Best post EVER!