Monday, March 29, 2010

Crashin' and a Cryin'

I stayed home from work today with a combination of menstrual cramps and a flu bug that had me hunched over like Quasimodo, sweating like Al Sharpton, and as emotional as Tammy Faye Baker. The emotional overload was really the worst part of it, and I'm sure my period made it worse. I cried because I didn't feel good. I cried because I didn't want to eat anything. I cried because I couldn't hold Meg because I didn't want to get her sick. I cried when I had to hold Meg for a second because Ryan needed to go to the bathroom. We rented "The Blind Side" and I cried all through that; and not because of Tim McGraw's awful hair piece.

It wasn't until about noon today that I actually started thinking I wouldn't dissolve into a puddle of sweat and tears. I felt hungry, and went to the fridge, only to discover we had absolutely nothing to eat. That made me cry. It was so bad that for a minute I considered making tomato soup out of ketchup and hot water -- only to discover we were out of ketchup. I love ketchup, so I cried more. By this time Meg was looking at me like "what a fucking baby." So, I dried my eyes, decided to leave my sickbed, and head to the store.

I should have ordered pizza instead.

Things pretty went well at the store. I got food for the week, enough ketchup for the next six years, and only cried when I couldn't find frozen green peppers, and when the Uscan wouldn't register I had already put the celery I had just bought into the bag. I got the groceries in the car, got Meg into her seat, and figured we would make it back home in time for both of us to have a nap. Then I pulled out of the parking lot, and directly into another car.

Don't worry, everyone is okay. Meg was kind of startled by the noise of my side mirror crunching into the back tail light of a minivan, but other than that was unfazed. Damage to both cars was minor, and really, it shouldn't have been a major tragedy. Oh, except for the crying.

The minute I realized what had happened I started to bawl. I mean, ugly, red faced, snotty bawling. The other driver got out of her car, screaming at me, only to be stunned into silence by my display.
The 9-1-1 operator asked SEVEN times if I was sure I was okay when I called to report the crash. Ryan flew to the scene, unsure of what had happened because he couldn't understand me on the phone. When he got there he found Meg sleeping in her seat, everyone okay, and me sobbing like the Hinderberg had just fallen onto our car. When the cop wrote me the ticket (it was my fault) he apologized, told me I really shouldn't feel bad because accidents happen all the time, and said he hoped I felt better soon.

I don't know which is more embarrassing: the way I cried after the accident, or the way I cried during "The Blind Side."
I do know which one is going to cost me more though -- and that just makes me want to swear.

I guess that means I'm feeling better.

20 comments:

She Said said...

Thank goodness for that last line because I was ready to fly to Utah and bitch-slap those tears away.

(Glad you are feeling better. ;-)

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You're a big baby. ;o)

Kelly said...

I hate those days where everything makes you bawl like a big fat baby. I had my day like that last week...I do have a car accident story, that should make you feel better about your fender bender today.

On Mea's second birthday, shortly after her adoption was finalized, we were having a huge bash at our house, 50+ people coming. I had been running around making food, picking stuff up that I had ordered etc all morning long. I had run home to drop some stuff off, so I could go pick up the cake, pulled halfway into my driveway, was standing at the back of my truck unloading things, when I look up, and I swear my truck was moving. Except it wasn't my truck. It was our van backing out of the garage directly into my truck. My husband hit my car with his van in our very own driveway. $3000 in damage to my truck, and $2500 to the van in one day on our own property. That's how we roll.

Gina said...

I have those days and they SUCK. Having an accident on one of those days, and I might need to be medicated.

mylittlebecky said...

ugh, i hate being that kinda sick. feel better!

Meg said...

Dude, hope you feel better soon! What a craptastic day!

a Tonggu Momma said...

I get like this when my hormones get out of control. Which is at least once a month (sometimes more often - I've got thyroid issues). Sorry you hit a car... I rear-ended someone a couple of months ago. Until then, I thought only morons did that. And then I realized that I? Was a moron. And I cried harder.

Scribe said...

You did have a bad day!! Tomorrow will be better!

I'm not going to be mean and tell you to suck it up. People tell me that all the time and I usually take a baseball bat to their knees. I like my knees just the way they are!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

OH man, what a nasty day! And the period thing? DOES NOT HELP MATTERS. I rarely cry but if I do you can bet your ass it's THAT time of the month. The slightest thing and WAAAAH! Hey, at least people were kind of nice to you in your time of sorrow. The cop's right though. It happens!

Jules said...

I heart you and your crying! AND I'm glad everyone is ok!!

P.S. I cried during 'The Blind Side' and I have NO excuse. NONE.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

I'm crying just *reading* this.....

Ellie

melistress said...

I soooo understand how you feel right now. Incidentally, this post made me cry right along with you. Seriously. I am sick and at work right now because I have to be because it is TAX season and I am here at my desk blubbering because I am sick and at work, you are sick, and you crashed your car.

Sam said...

Oh, poor bubelah, I'm sorry. But I totally get it. Just feel bad for the poor schlubs who have days like this and are too repressed to cry. That would truly suck.

Amanda said...

Wuss

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh, reading this, I so felt your pain! What a sucky day. And glad you're okay.
Feel better in every way!!

Jessica and Reecey said...

Dude, I had one of these days last week and literally wanted to crawl under my bed and hide for a month or two. It's a good thing we are married to patient, saintly men, huh?

Dunc said...

Oh balls, uncontrollable crying is the worst

Aunt Juicebox said...

Oh you poor thing. I've had those kinds of days too. Only I cry less and say mother effer a whole lot. And I don't need to have pms either, just a bad hair day. Like today. And everyday for the past week since I got a stupid haircut.

Kim said...

Most of the time it's uncontrollable, unprovoked rage for me. I'm sure my family would prefer weeping.

.....i cried during The Blind Side.....

Selma said...

I enjoy a good cry. It cleans me out. Nothing wrong with it at all. The main thing is that you and Meg are OK. I have to tell you though that ketchup soup is not that good. It will make you cry more than you ever have before.