I think we can all concur that New Year's resolutions are bullshit. Losing weight, exercising more, stopping drinking, going organic, not shooting heroin between our toes, it all is just so impossible and depressing. I mean, I don't have a problem with setting goals, I just have a problem with the definitiveness of it. I mean, can't we just want to make changes without laying out finish lines? Or even just investigate things we would like to try? I think that's the best I idea, and so, I give you the five things I will be considering in 2010.
1. POSITIVITY I no longer have to fear getting soft, because Meg has already done that for me. Really, I never go to the park just to punch ducks, and I don't miss it at all. So, I am thinking of taking it to the next step. I am going to investigate possibly, maybe, actively being positive and happy. It's going to be weird. After all, suffering from depression I have gotten used feeling best when I am at my lowest. I mean, I know it can't get worse. This year though, I am going to try and reach for the heights, and feel my best. There is a website -- happier.com -- that claims to help, but I think I would be happier keeping the five dollar monthly fee.
2. STICKING IT TO THE MAN I think all of us are pretty pissed at the big banks after the bailouts of the past year, and would love to feel like we are no longer their bitch. Oh, and I have my own personal reasons too. So, this year I am going not just consider, but actually start changing my bank accounts over from one of the giants, to a local bank. I know it will not happen all at once, because I have multiple instant withdrawals I need to figure out so I don't have to endure even more fees. I hope by mid-March though I should be able to say good-bye, and man it will feel good. This is the only definitive thing I want to do.
3. CARING LESS ABOUT AGING 2009 is the first year I have really noticed changes in my face. My eyelids aren't as pert as they used to be. I feel like I have a little sagging around my jaw. I see brown spots where there weren't brown spots before. Oh, and I still have zits. Over the past months I have tried countless creams and potions, spending way too much money on products that are all pretty much the same. I think the answer my be to moisturize, use sunscreen, and learn to like the changes. Or if not like, not let them drive me crazy.
4. NOT SPENDING MONEY I would like to be financially solvent by the time I am 40. In my mind that means no credit card debt, a savings account, and a college fund for Meg. I have already made changes to help me achieve that goal, but I am always looking for new ideas. I can't remember which blogger came up with this (if it was you, let me know), but there is someone trying to not spend any money during January. No, they aren't becoming freegans, they are just cutting out the "gimmes." You know, like a spending detox. I know how I have done with other types of detoxing, but maybe I could just cut back, and you know, not buy anything green.
5. CIVILITY Every year people ask me if I am going to try and be nicer. Every year I flip them off. This year though, I am thinking about it, mainly because it seems like everyone has gotten nastier, and I am no longer special. So, I am thinking of taking the civility pledge. Maybe if I do it Sean Hannity will too. Of course, my taking it wouldn't mean the end of my career.
Oh, and in 2010 I might consider not writing extremely long pontificating blog posts, and instead stick with rants about Tiger Woods' penis...