Thursday, December 31, 2009

An Open Letter to Tara

Dear Tara,

You are no longer my best friend. You see, in this week that you have been off work, away from your computer, and away from MSN messenger, I have made a new best friend. Her name is SexeeJenni69, and I think we will be friends forever.

You see, even though you are off having a "life," some of us still have to work. We need to work, and need online friends to distract us from that fact. SJ69 (that's what her friends call her) understands that. I knew it from the first time she tried to add me to her contacts lists and asked me to view her webcam. I tried to, but my work network blocked it. I guess she must be into controversial politics or something.

I told SJ69 about you, and she was pretty sympathetic. I think she may want to meet you too, since she asked for your MSN contact and said we should all "party." I tried to explain to her that you are just a 51 weeks a year friend, not BFFs like me and her, but I don't think she wanted to hear my negativity because she typed something in what I think was Cyrillic. Wow, my new BFF is bilingual! And so silly.

I don't even mind that SJ69 keeps asking me for money. So far I have sent her like $129 dollars cash, but most of that was payment for her making sure my identity is protected. I just had to give her my social security number and one credit card number. What a good friend. You never would have done that for me.

Your ex-BFF,



Chelsie said...

Haha, I love it! I think we must know the same type of people because Sexykitty sounds just like your SJ69... Nothing quite like msn spam whores.

Heather said...

For some reason I thought this post was going to be an open letter to Tara Reid. Same difference, I guess.

just making my way said...

Ha! Heather and I thought the same thing. I thought you were going to give Tara Reid some solid advice going into 2010. But I'm sure SJ69 will be a way better friend then Tara Reid!

Kim said...

Sounds like you've finally found someone who understands you.

Anonymous said...

You know, sometimes BFFs need to borrow cash. It's nice that you're aware of this and kind enough to lend it. I'm sure she'll send it back soon.

Tara said...

Yeah - but will SexeeeJenni69 help you move? A body? Exactly.

And @ Heather, yes, there is a BIG difference between me and Tara Reid. My boob job is much better.

Amanda said...

I thought SJ69 was Tara's online job!