Sunday, November 22, 2009

It's Kind of Hurty

Tara and I have a new favorite game. Like most of our games, it centers on pain and mocking. Unfortunately, most of the pain and mocking is aimed at ourselves. The game is called "guess who's pregnant." I don't think we invented it, I think it has been played by every woman dealing with infertility since, well, since infertility became a concern. However, while it may not be a new game, I think Tara and I have perfected it.

First of all, there is the fact that we can usually guess who, in fact, is pregnant on either the first or second try. Yes, that might have something to do with our small circle of friends, but I like to think it's because we are both actually kind of psychic. Then, there is the fact that we can both instantly come up with at least five reasons why it is unfair said person is pregnant instead of us. You know, because they already have two beautiful children, or we know they will name them something dumb, or because said person is a dude, reasons like that. Further, without even stopping to think, we both can come up with why this person is more deserving of being pregnant, and why both of our wombs will likely stay empty and gathering cobwebs until the end of time. This is where the game gets good. Where we were both united on the last two rounds, now it's every woman for herself, until the last, most pathetic one, is left standing. I have to say that since we have adopted Meg it has been harder for me to win this round, since Tara now has the "you have a baby" card to play, but sometimes, when I am really working it, I can still pull out a win.

Yes, yes , I know this game is not constructive, and possibly hurtful to all involved, but that's how we roll. Also, I hate to tell you all this, but optimism never actually got anyone pregnant. Also, I know that when the answer to the question "guess who's pregnant" is either me or Tara we will both be too overjoyed to play.

But I'm sure there will be other women dealing with infertility willing to play for us.

9 comments:

Chief said...

I played that game for 4 years. I can no longer fairly play as I have two children (from my womb)...but I know how it goes.

Throwing good baby juju you and Tara's way

Amy Jane said...

i really hate to get in on the game... but I think I might have both of you beat (for the moment)... I spent the morning meeting a friend's new baby... talking to my friend who got accidentally knocked up...and then realizing that I'm so far away from sperm that the only way I'm gonna be a mommy is if Jesus decides to pull an immaculate conception for his second coming (and chooses my womb)...

long story short... none of this deal works out to be very fair at all... but I love you both a bunch anyway!

Jules said...

You can BOTH have any baby juju that was meant for my body....HAPPILY hoping it lands on you!!!! (that sounds kind of gross, like sperm or something....but you know what I mean!)

Aunt Juicebox said...

I have no idea what this must feel like, having a birth child myself, so however you need to cope with it is fine with me. I had wanted another one but my husband keeps saying no. He'd give me one if I really pushed him, but who wants a baby their husband doesn't? So it's not exactly the same thing, but I do torment myself, and think about my ex husband who wanted to have dozens of babies and I wasn't ready, and now my current husband doesn't want any and I do. Cruel fate.

just making my way said...

Having watched my husband and his wife battle infertility for many years, I say - if it makes you happy, have at it!

Kimball and Amber said...

I agree Libby. I didn't think I would ever play this game again once we adopted my son. Then someone in my circle got pregant and I said game on.

Kelly said...

I'll play. Only the latest in a long line is a friend with 3 gorgeous kids, now having a 4th. Now, that's just greedy.

Aunt Becky said...

*hugs*

I'm sorry.

:: wife mom maniac :: said...

(((hugs)))

I agree optimism never got anyone pregnant. I went through three miscarriages before I had my first, each of those pregnancies I was so optimistic, sure this was the pregnancy that would stick, buying baby stuff, telling everyone. By the fourth pregnancy and the subsequent two, I had been diagnosed with a high risk condition that is treatable but with each I had lots of bleeding and was sure the baby was dead the whole time. People who tell folks struggling with fertility to think positive can shove their positive advice up their ass, because in my experience, it's negative thinking that worked best.

Holy shitski is that pic of your little girl and Daddy adorable.