Thursday, October 22, 2009

Making Deals

We had one little baby, and yet our laundry has tripled. Yes, I know, babies go through clothes quickly, spiting up and having diaper blow outs -- and that then there are the sheets, and the blankets, and the socks, and the burp cloths, all of which have to be washed at the first sign of dirt, but I just don't see how it all adds up. Yesterday I spent putting away a pile of laundry almost taller than I am, and today I went into the basement to find it growing again.

I started to think that maybe I could make Meg a "free range" baby, and just put papers down for her "leavings," but then I realized I would like to keep custody of her. Then I considered asking Ryan not to wear shirts, but I have heard that song "Don't Stand so Close to Me," and I have seen the girls at Ryan's school. No one could resist that gorgeous hunk of man. Of course, once I came to my senses, I realized I shouldn't make my baby or my husband suffer, so I needed to make the sacrifice, like June Cleaver, Claire Huxtable, or the Tooth Fairy.

So, from now on, no pants.

17 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I actually take the topless approach, myself.

I asked my coworker yesterday if I went topless at work, if that would constitute sexual harrassment. He said possibly. I replied that it had to be unwanted, and frankly, who wouldn't want *this.*

Scribe said...

I prefer the no-pants rule for myself. If I went topless there would be a riot of people running in the opposite direction. But, I've got great gams.

KAM said...

I make Mea do her own laundry now....I just told her, you keep spilling stuff on yourself or sometimes having accidents, you're washing it! That's it.

Winter just makes things worse, the clothes get bigger, so do the laundry piles.

Badass Geek said...

June Cleaver was a fox.

Rob said...

We had to do our son's laundry in one of those over/under space saver washer/driers that they always put in condos. Talk about an ordeal.

Yellow Trash said...

Just keep buying more clothes. That's how Jason came to have the biggest sock collection in the world.

erin said...

Oh god. I can't even start to think about the four baskets of clean and folded laundry that I know have to put away.

I can wash it, I can fold it...but for some strange reason I hate putting it all away!

DC Diva said...

You are a genius.

calicobebop said...

Too funny. Maybe if you just hang out in your bathrobe? My baby is five and I'm still doing tons of laundry. I don't think it ever stops.

just making my way said...

Brilliant idea! Scary thing is, my little 6yr old nudist would probably be psyched if I told him no pants. That kid will strip down in seconds if allowed!

Jules said...

Can't you just all wear dirty clothes??? Or does spit up REALLY smell?

THAT would keep those teen girls away from your husband anyway.

Aunt Becky said...

Pants are overrated anyway.

She Said said...

You've got it dialed in. A t-shirt and crocs. What else would anyone need anyway?

Dunc said...

wooot, way to Donald Duck it!

Captain Dumbass said...

How often do you have to wash a skirt? I like the pant-less idea, but I'm thinking that could lead to some trouble when I leave the house. Skirts look comfortable though.

Heather said...

Hey, have you seen that "new thing" whereby people potty train their babies starting at 6 months? Yeah, all you have to do is quit your day job and have absolutely nothign else to do. Then you stare intently at your baby until you see her face change, which indicates that she may be getting ready to pee or poop or maybe she felt a breeze. Then you rush her to the toilet and wait. And then you repeat this process every single minute of every single day until she turns two and is actually old enough to potty train.

I think your no pants plan is better.

Rassles said...

If I have a baby ever, I'm just letting it sit around in a diaper all the time. Possibly booties. Because I like to say booties.