Not Stupid, Just Knocked Up

No, not me. Don't get your panties in a wad. But, if I were, I might not even know it, at least according to Clearblue Easy Pregnancy Tests. According to them, one in four women misread traditional pregnancy tests. Yep, that's right, 25 percent of us aren't smart enough to figure out if we see two lines or one, or if it's a plus or a minus sign. We shouldn't fear though, because Clearblue is here to save us all, with a digital pregnancy test. Yes, I know, these have been on the market for a while, but this is the first time they have been marketed as an educational device, as well as a pregnancy test. After all, if the person taking the test isn't smart enough to read a plus/minus test, they probably need help brushing up on their reading. Oh, and they need a course in consumerism, since these puppies cost $20 a pop, and are being sold to them by a company telling them they are stupid.

Of course, there are some of you saying "but, Libby, I misread a pregnancy test." I am so sorry. It must have been a big shock nine months later when you had the baby in a Denny's bathroom, thinking that you just had severe digestive issues going on. At least you got a TLC special out of it though with the other women who "had no idea they were pregnant." Actually, those women probably would have misread the Clearblue test as well -- "It's telling me I'm pretty."

I'm too angry to go on. At least I think I'm angry. I have peed on anything electronic to confirm it. I mean, I peed on stuff, but then I couldn't make out the result. Typical woman! Good thing I'm cute and demure. Oh, wait, I'm not. FUCK!!!