Wonderful Work

My schedule is a little different this week, as I am helping out on the morning show. I have to come in a bit earlier. Unfortunately "a bit earlier" means 4am. It's all worth it though since it means I am helping out my fellow co-workers, and really, isn't that what work is all about? It has nothing to do with the fact that I am a complete push over, and will say yes to anything if it's asked while I am looking at celebrity gossip on my work computer and hoping to God that no one notices.

You may think that having to get to work at a time when most fortunate people are just stumbling home from the bar would make me grumpy, or grumpier than usual. Well, yes it does. When I had to get up this morning I was kitten kicking annoyed. I had to do something before I started on that slow and steady path that leads to the volcano of rage. I thought about all the bullshit self-help books that I had read in college, and came up with a plan: I would look for the positives of the day. I found three.

1. My Screen Saver No, your eyes aren't deceiving you, that is Marlena Evans Black, and she is holding a sign saying she wishes I were there. ME! The picture was taken at the Democratic National Convention by a co-worker who knows of my secret "Days of Our Lives" shame. I love this screen saver so much that it has lasted longer than other pictures previously on my desktop -- including those featuring Luke, monkeys, or a combination of the two. I love it so much I don't even mind that our political reporter is crowding into the picture, trying to steal some of Marlena's glory

2. Diet Pepsi I have been addicted to this stuff since college, and I don't see it getting better any time soon. I know, I know, it's bad for me, but I don't care. It's not like it's filled with black tar heroin -- although that would explain the delicious taste. I have tamed my addiction in the recent years, now I only allow myself two cans a day, three if I am really dragging. I stack the cans up on top of my television as I work as a beacon to those around me about my mood. One can means it's probably not best to talk to me yet, as I am not yet fully awake. Two cans means I am up and functioning, and most likely can be engaged without fear. Three cans means approach at your own risk, there are rough seas ahead. I haven't had a four can day since college, so I don't know what that would mean, but I'm guessing someone would end up crying.

3. Control Room Monkeys No, I am not talking about the crew (bah, dum, dum). These are little plastic monkeys placed in the control room by my friend Paige a couple of weeks ago. Each day she would hide one somewhere in the room and I would have to find it. Considering that they are each the size of a quarter, that the control room is kept just brighter than a sleazy bar, and that my eyes are slowly getting worse, it wasn't always an easy task. So, now I have moved four of them to the top of my control panel to enjoy up close during the show. Sometimes the promise of their little smiling faces is the only thing that gets me into the booth, and convinces me to stay for the whole show. I hope they bring as much joy to the other producers. I mean, just as long as they all understand that the monkeys like me best, and that they shouldn't be touched. Or if they do touch them they should wash their hands first. I don't want dirty monkeys.

There you go, the three things that get me through my days. I'm sure I could think up more, as I really do like my office and my job, but that would require being awake some more. I have to go to bed. After all, it's almost 7:30, and I have to get up at 3. Damn it.