McCain is a DiMera!

Unless you have been hiding under a log this week (and I know there are a few of you out there) then you know that this week is the Democratic National Convention. There are thousands of party members gathered in Denver, and seven members of the press for each one of them. We have a crew there, along with every other self-respecting, self deprecating, self lo thing, and inadvertently self parodying news organization that has ever walked the face of the earth. They are all there to "get the story," which they all think is Barack Obama, but I know is Dr. Marlena Evans. She is out of her coma, and she is voting Democrat. Keri, the producer sent by our station has seen her, and sent me photographic proof.

When Keri first sent me a text message telling me Marlena was there I was in shock. After all, we all know she has been in a coma, arguing with the spirit of her dead sister Samantha about whether or not she should give John Black another chance. I texted Keri back that I didn't believe her, and that she was toying with my emotions. Then, I got a text that read "I'm here, I'm fine. Where are you? Deidre." Now, I don't know who this "Deidre" person is, but I am guessing she is some sort of double agent set up by Stefano to trick unsuspecting news producers. I texted I was in Utah, but my heart was in Salem. I didn't want to give too much away and fall into an evil Dimera plot.

The next text contained the following picture...

I almost fainted. She looks so good. If the Democrats can bring her out of a coma, and make her look that incredible, imagine what they can do for the country...