Thursday, October 16, 2008

An Open Letter to Oliver Stone

Dear Oliver,

If Barack Obama loses this election, lots of people will blame lots of things. Some will blame racism. Some will blame stupidity. Sarah Silverman will blame the Jews. And I, if Barack Obama loses, I will be blaming you.

You see, opening tomorrow is your latest attempt to make people think of you as a groundbreaking film maker: "W." Really, though, it's just going to piss people off and make you look like a douchebag. And, even worse, it could help John McCain. Because, even though you say this is not a "political movie" (yeah, and "Frosty the Snowman" isn't a Christmas flick), people will view it as so. They will see it, they will view it as just another example of the Hollywood elite picking on the retarded, they will remember the cute way Sarah Palin said "say it ain't so, Joe" and they will vote Republican.

I admire your ambition, Oliver, really I do. Not in your filmaking, but in your desire to be the jerk who pushes the Democrats out of the "win" column once and for all. I mean, Barbara Striesand took a shot at it and couldn't do it, and she's usually political kryptonite. So, if you can do it? Jerk hall of fame.

Now, I know what you're thinking Oliver, "but people don't even like the President. This film will be cathartic for them. It could actually help Obama. " To answer that argument I have three words for you: my sister Amanda. You see, Oliver, when I was growing up my sister and I HATED each other. We would get into fights that rivaled gang warfare. My Mother practically had to pat us down for weapons when we entered and left the house. It was ugly. And the only thing I hated more than my sister? People picking my sister. If it was a fair fight, I was cool with it, and usually would root for the other person. But if I felt she was being unfairly attacked? I was like a four foot nine ball of fury. Oliver, people are going to view your film as an unfair attack, and they are going to use whatever is in their power to fight back. That probably will include their vote.

I could be completely off base here. People could go see your movie and stream into the streets chanting "Oliver! Oliver!" However, I doubt that. You see, by portraying the President as a boob you are also, in a way, calling the people who voted for him boobs as well. That's more than 50 percent of registered voters in the last election. Now, I'm sure lots of people have called you a boob (and worse) in your lifetime. Did it make you feel good? I bet not. I bet it made you want to fight and buy a d gun, and oppress the rights of gays and females. I think you see my point.

There is no way to stop your movie from coming out tomorrow. I'm sure the film canisters are already at the theaters. Just know though, that I am watching the polls. If, come Monday, Obama's numbers are down, I don't care if he french kissed William Ayers at a weekend rally, I am blaming you. And if he loses? You go on the list -- right next to Ralph Nader.




Anita the Immigrant Mom said...

Great point - I often felt like that about issues. I dislike Sarah Palin and will be voting Obama but felt badly when I got an email that asked for a donation to Planned Parenthood on her behalf in offensive terms. Not that I was persuaded on my position but I still felt kind of bad for her...
Should I see W?

Logical Libby said...

I wouldn't. It might push you over the edge. Then on November 5th you'll wake up with a hang over and Palin as Vice President.

Amanda said...

So that is why Mom finally installed the metal detectors at the door!

The sad thing, is that he used actors who people really like & like to go see in films (save for Josh Brolin - who is the step son of Babs Streisand - coincidence???) Hell, it is worth the price of admission just to see Mr. Holland play Dick Cheney. But you do have to think about Oliver Stone's record - sure he made it big with Platoon, but for every Platoon there is at least on Doors film & one Natural Born Killers.

By the way, thanks for being my four foot nine ball of fury. It was like having a Gremlin (after the transformation) on my side.

calicobebop said...

Good point. BTW, I tagged you on my blog for an award. Hope it brightens your day!

Tim said...

Hey Libby - I saw W. this weekend and it made me angry! It was too fair to W and Cheney! It humanized them to a degree that my bias doesn't think is just. When all of the ugly truth comes out about this disastrous presidency, I fear Mr. Stone's film will likely be seen as a flattering portrait of what was really a robber baron farce with an impotent boob as the figurehead.

Emmeline said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emmeline said...

When you said you might be "way off base" I would stick to that. I see a woman who has nothing better to do in her day then complain... Now that Obama has won does your letter really make sense, I think not.
I know there are stupid people who Kill their girlfriend because they watched Natural Born Killers too much (idiot) but I like to think most people who watch an Oliver Stone film are smart enough to see the art and greatness in his movies. So, did you vote for McCain after watching it?