Mom

Today is my Mother's birthday. What did I get her? Socks. Yep, this is the woman who fed and clothed me, who taught me to drive a stick, and who, for better or worse, gave me my sense of humor. I got her flat ass too, but I have forgiven her for that.

I should have found a better present to honor such a great woman who has impacted my life so much, and God knows I tried. When she first said she wanted socks for her birthday earlier this month I thought "I can do better than that." I started right away trying to think of innovative gifts, mining the past for gifts stemming from precious family memories, and looking through catalogs and websites for clothing, books, or knick knacks that just screamed "Mom." I came up with nothing. I went to cute little boutiques, chain stores, and department stores. Nada. I did find some darling pants for me, but nothing for Mom. The pants are really cool though -- check 'em out...


I know, they're awesome. Monkeys rule. I actually love them so much I thought for a moment of just giving my Mom a card telling her how supremely happy I am I found them and that she made it all possible, but not even I could truly justify that. So, the hunt continued.

It ended just after seven last night when I just went out and bought the damn socks. I have to admit though, they are pretty cute, and she can wear them with almost anything, even sandals, even though she shouldn't. Still, I feel like I should be giving her something more. So, here it is, the five things that I love most about my Mom.

1. She is funny as hell. Actually, she might be funnier than hell. Sometimes her humor is outlandish, and sometimes it is very subtle. No matter what, it's always smart. For instance, whenever we go to the Spaghetti Factory (Luke loves it) she tells the hostess our last name is Donner. Then when they call "Donner, party of eight" she goes up and says "thanks, we were really hungry." Hilarity.

2. What you see is what you get. My Mom does not try to pretend she is anything but what she is. Take it or leave it, love or hate her, she is what she is. And because of that you never have to worry that she is lying to you, or trying to steal your wallet. I mean, she'll steal your wallet, but she'll tell you she's doing it.

3. We have similar tastes in clothes, and are roughly the same size. This comes in especially handy when I spill something on my shirt (roughly every day) and need something to change into, but am close to her house than mine. I always leave the soiled shirt behind as a trade, but she never wants to keep it. So sometimes I end up with both. Yeah!

4. She has lived a pretty interesting life. If you asked her my Mom would say her life was boring. That she was born, got married, had kids and became a teacher. Not so. She been to amazing places, seen and taken part in amazing things, and has some of the most riveting and laugh out loud stories you have ever heard. I am hoping to eventually start featuring some of those stories on this blog -- once she has the injunction lifted.

5. She loves without bounds. Even when my Mom is really mad at me, I know she loves me. And when she's being a pain in the ass? I know she's doing it because she loves me. That's how she is with everyone in her life, and she isn't afraid to show it. That's nice.

I know there is a lot more I could write about my Mom, like the fact she grammar checks everything, that she always says she is a year older than she really is, and that she always has gum, but I have to go wrap her present. So, I'll just end by saying, Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you, and I hope you like your socks.