Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Snark triumphs over the Ahhh factor

I work with a guy named Albert, who is quite possibly the nicest guy I have ever met. He doesn't mind writing all the stories about kittens in trees, and elderly wreath making classes that I am loathe to touch. I like to think he balances out my utter hatred of human interest stories by embracing them and making sure they get into my show.

Today though, he went too far.

Albert came in this morning very excited about a movie he and his wife watched last night. He said it was perfect for the Christmas season and very heart warming. The name of this movie? "The Christmas Shoes." Yes, someone made a movie based on that horrible song about the snot nosed kid begging people to help him buy shoes for his mother who is allegedly dying on Christmas Eve. Even worse, said movie is available for rent, Albert rented it, and admitted to watching it!

Now, I really do try to tone down the more caustic aspects of my peprsonality at work, but in this case I really feel I was provoked. The conversation went like this...

Me: Are You kidding?
Albert: No, it's a really good movie. It made me cry.
Me: You do realize that if you continue talking I will have to mercilessly tease you for the rest of your life.
Albert: I think this movie would touch even you.
Me: You know the kid in that song was lying. He returned those shoes for a full refund after the guy walked off and went to buy porn. And why did his Mom need nice shoes to meet Jesus? I doubt when you die Jesus is going to look at you and say "those are pretty crappy shoes."
Albert: Do you remember when you had a heart?

That was the snarkiest thing I have ever heard Albert say to anyone. So, I guess some good came out of it. Of course, now I have that song running through my head, but I can make him pay for that later.


Amanda said...

Do you remember when you last had a heart?

cate said...

You have never had a heart.

Wendy King said...

Where was Albert when I was around? I want to meet him, make fun of him and never EVER see that movie!

Emily-Ione said...

Someone tease him for me!!!