Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The Official LibbyLogic Non-Lame Gift Guide: Part III

Today I was going to write all about gifts for the ladies. However, after my conversation with Albert I began thinking about a category of gifts that is almost always overlooked during the holiday season: gifts with snark. You know what I mean, something that seems lovely to the receiver, but has a hidden meaning for the giver and anyone else they want to let in on the joke. Think of them as gifts with benefits.

Digital Alcohol Detector $45

Snark Factor: 10

This is the item that
got me thinking about snarky gifts. Restoration Hardware has them on a table with "stocking stuffers," gift wrapped and everything. But is this really something a person would open with glee? It is if you frame it as a personal hygiene gift for the person who is always vigilant about safety. Of course, you'll really be thinking you don't want to bail them out of jail for another DUI. Oh, and for those who don't drink, Restoration Hardware also offers a halitosis detector that is just as good.

Rabbit Corkscrew $50

Snark Factor: 6

This is a gift that proves anything can be snarky if you just think hard enough, because no one will get the joke except you. On the surface it say
s "you have class, and enjoy the finer things in life." However, look a little deeper and it says "you are so dumb you can't even open a bottle of wine. Oh, and you enjoy stupid tools named after sex toys."

Dusting Slippers $12.99

Snark Factor: 8

On the surface these fun and functional slippers seem to say "don't work so hard, just clean as you go, you deserve a break." They're kitschy and a conversation starter. The recipient will have no idea the conversation yo
u really want to start is "your floors are more dog hair than wood." Of course, that is also why I bought myself a pair. You should see the dust bunnies I've collected. Frightening.

Listening is An Act of Love $25

Snark Factor: 3

This is a book I think everyone should own. It is a collection of transcripts from the StoryCorps project, which basically is an Airstream trailer turned into a recording booth that goes around and gathers stories from Americans. It's a perfect gift for anyone, especially those people you want to tell "you never listen, shut your yap." I expect to recieve several copies.

So, I can only think of four snarky gifts, but I think they get the job done. Just remember, if you put your mind to it anything can snarky. Slippers say "you're old," DVDs say "you aren't well read," and ties say "you are so boring I couldn't think of anything else to get you." All you need is the right way to look at it. My way.


Amanda said...

Hey ass hat -
I love my rabbit wine opener. Mostly because I am a wine bottle tard.

Emily-Ione said...

You, know I think that I have seen Mandy hand that rabbit wine bottle opener to someone and say "This is the best!!".........
What are you saying about your beloved sister?
And how does that reflect on me?