I'm wishing

I had fully intended to continue the LibbyLogic 2007 Gift Guide today, but I spent all afternoon running around, and capped off my day looking for pajamas for our three year old niece that did not feature a cartoon character or some inappropriate saying like "sassy pants," and did not cost a thousand dollars. That was harder than I ever could have imagined. Finally though I found some that won't make her like a stripper and won't in some way support Fox News, and, believe it or not, THEY WERE ON SALE!!! I actually did a little happy dance in the middle of the store.

Despite my shopping victory, when I arrived home the last thing I wanted to do was think about Christmas presents. I think it's ironic that Christmas shopping can do that to a person. So, I put on pajama pants, made some corn muffins, and now I'm just sitting here thinking about what I would really get people if I could get them anything, even it wasn't sold in a store, even if it wasn't realistic, even if it wasn't sane. I'm not talking about uber-expensive yachts, and ridiculous jewels, but things that would make them really truly happy. For instance, I would get my husband Ryan 10 billion dollars. You see, that's the amount it would take to make sure everyone on the planet has clean water and can go to school. I know this because he brings it up every time another Iraq appropriations bill is approved. I think I would also get him a cabin near a stream where he could fish any time he wanted, but first I would take care of the other people, he would want it that way.

For my friend Tara I would get a magic free credit card that allowed her to buy clothes at any time without first questioning whether or not she should buy them for weeks on end. Of course, I guess that's more a gift for me since I have to hear about said clothes. Really, the only way to convince her not to buy them is to tell her I like them. It's a little game we play. I guess while I'm handing out magic credit cards I would give one to each of my two sisters, but not to my Mom. I have something better in mind for her -- an overhaul of the Utah education system. Yes, teachers would be paid well, useless workshops would be outlawed, and kids would have the resources they need to learn. Oh, yeah, and kids would want to be there. I mean, if I'm doing the impossible...

I would give my friend Murphy a lucrative directing career, my Dad the ability to retire and freelance, and Luke a real motorcycle and college tuition for anywhere he wants to go. He would be more excited about the motorcycle, but, then again, who wouldn't?

Finally, I would give everyone an end to the war in Iraq, health care coverage, zero credit card debt, and a Democrat in the White House come 2008. Oh, and candy, lots and lots of candy.

Okay, this is getting to magnanimous for me, so I'm going to go kick a puppy or steal change from the Salvation Army kettle. I'll be back with a another, more realistic, gift guide tomorrow.