Sunday, July 15, 2007

Great Red Hunter

This past week we had some good friends of ours come to stay with us for a week days. One of them used to teach with Ryan and all of us used to stay out late drinking and carousing and trying to pretend we were still young and hip. It was a good time. But, of course, now we're all older and trying out new things. Ryan and I are trying to have a baby. One of our friends has gotten really into yoga and -- the most shocking -- her husband has become a survivalist. That means his idea of a good time is now going out in the wilderness with nothing but a knife and a loin cloth to kill deer with his teeth. Well, maybe I exaggerate a little. I think he can wear shorts.

All weekend he talked about using bone tools and how hunting is the only "authentic" thing left in society, the different animals he planned to kill and how a diet of nothing but meat and fruit is really the best thing for you. It actually kind of intrigued me. I mean, who is going to go out and kill an animal, eat it and sleep in it's fur when there are hotels with room service and fresh sheets? It was a bit like being visited by an alien. At least until I realized he was trying to turn my husband into a pod person.

It happened slowly. They would talk about camping and backpacking, about the fun of sleeping under the stars, how enjoyable it is to go fishing and spend the day on a river. And then our friend asked Ryan if the next time we came to Vegas he would like to go rabbit hunting. Now, that isn't shocking. What Ryan replied is. He said " Sure. I'll just get my .22 back from my brother." And I looked over and saw the alien slime coming over his head.
Me: Who are you?
Ryan: What?
Me: First of all, you own a gun?
Ryan: Yeah, since I was 13.
Me: And you want to hunt rabbits? I can see you flying before I see you hunting.
Ryan: I could hunt rabbits.
Me: Really? Will you eat the rabbits?
Ryan: Sure.
Me: Okay, well, call me when that actually happens...

Now, looking back I can see that my response could probably be seen as a bit emasculating in front of our Grizzly Adams friend, but please. Hunting? Ryan? That is almost as ludicrous as me trying for the Bolshoi just because Tara is taking ballet. And I would hope he would stop me before someone got hurt. I mean really, first bunnies and then what? The cats? Big game? The deadliest animal in world: Man? I think I've made my point. But maybe to make up for it we can roast some marshmallows in the backyard. That's almost the same thing....


cate said...

The gun is really a .22 water gun that is bright green and blue.

Amanda said...

So Ryan will be dressing as Ted Nugent this Halloween?