Saturday, July 14, 2007


I am not a person who dislikes bugs. I catch and release spiders that have made their way into our home, I watch for worms on the sidewalk when it's raining, and I try to disperse ant hills by using cinnamon or pepper instead of just washing them away with the hose. I don't know why, it might have something to do with Karma or the fear that God actually has a segmented body and wings, but I try to show bugs consideration and not squash them just because I can. Until now. This time the bugs have gone too far.

I am speaking in particular about Box Elder beetles. If you live in Utah or anywhere with a lot of mature trees I know you've seen them. They're small and are black with red markings. They also fly and sometimes walk around while mating (not kidding). And I think about 100 of them are now living in my house.

The enemy.

The bug surge began about two weeks ago. I would see one and pick it up and put it outside. Then I would see another, pick it up and put it outside. See, pick, move, repeat. And it went like that for several days. Then they got rude. I awoke one night to a strange sensation on my neck. Aneurysm? Nope, a Box Elder beetle. That one didn't make it outside. I didn't kill it, but it might have gotten hurt when I hurled it across the room. The night I was so sick last weekend? In between retches I got to watch two different bugs crisscross the wall. They have even taking to hitching rides on Sally. And no one rides Sally.

When I just didn't think it could get worse it did. The bugs started dying. Now, not only was I battling the live bugs I was serving as coroner for the dead ones. It isn't like removing the dead bugs was a difficult task -- it's just it was kind of creepy having all these little corpses around my house. Like a low budget Rob Zombie movie.

So, now I am looking for any way to stop the influx of bugs making their way into the house. I have tried sweeping, Dust busting, fans, spray bottles and anything else that doesn't contain noxious chemicals. Of course, I could just shut the back door (Ryan's suggestion) but Sally and the cats really love going in and out. And it isn't like bugs know how to use doors...


He Said said...

Oh, these little bastards make me want to retch. I lived in an old apartment so infested with those beetles that they would unbeknown top me land in my beer bottles, soda cans and open glasses.

The really disgusting part is you DON'T KNOW they are in your bottle or can UNTIL THEY ARE IN YOUR MOUTH!