To Boob or Not to Boob...

Every Saturday morning we go to music class with Meg. During that class, I know three things will happen: we will sing some ridiculously catchy and annoying song that will be caught in my head all week, the children will bang loudly and with little rhythm on various instruments, and a 4-year old classmate of Meg's will unceremoniously lift her mother's shirt and breast feed. Oh, and then a fourth thing happens: I start arguing with myself about whether or not that is appropriate.

Conservative Libby: PUT YOUR DAMN BOOB AWAY!

Liberal Libby: It's a beautiful, natural thing. Breast is best.

CL: Trust me, that is not that kid's main source of food.

LL: Well, it's comforting to the child. It's bonding.

CL: Great, give her a little cuddle. Meg's binky is comforting to her, but we don't let her have that in class.

LL: You really should start to wean her off of that.

CL: Don't you start with me. We are talking about the boobs. How does that Mom not wear a bra? She's a very full figured woman.

LL: I think that's called Rubenesque. If it makes you so uncomfortable, just don't look at her. Think of Rick Santorum's sweater vests.

CL: Not cool. And like that's sooo easy. Oh my God, now she's dancing AND nursing?

LL: You have to admit that's impressive multi-tasking.

CL: Do you have any idea how many times I've almost sung "roll that little boob round the room"? Or how about "dance to your boobie?"

LL: Stop it. You don't mind it when the other Moms in the class do it.

CL: They have infants. Their children don't come up and undress them.

LL: If you start discriminating against one breast feeding Mom, where do you stop? Who is going to draw the line?

CL: Me. And I'm drawing it right over there.

LL: We should blog about this.

CL: Are you kidding? Why don't we just find an active mine field and go for a stroll?

We're switching classes next term. It was either that, or all of us wearing those boob hats to class to make a point.

Those are the options things both of me can agree upon... And they don't make adult sizes in the hats.

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She Hates Me?

Meg told me she hated me.

She wanted some candy, and she wanted me to give it to her. She knew I had it, a half roll of Mentos right there in my purse, because I had already handed her several pieces while we were driving. However, because she had already had several pieces, and because we were driving home to make dinner, I had said no, she couldn't have any more. She tried to get more by adding a "please" but I said it wasn't an issue of saying please. She tried screaming, and I told her that definitely wasn't the way to get more candy. And then the words came out of her mouth: "I hate you, Mommy."

I have been insulted quite a bit in my life. I have had my feelings hurt a whole lot. However, I don't think I have ever felt the way I did when Meg said that. I felt cold. I was not only hurt, but also felt like a failure, and like I had been issued a challenge. My first thought was to pull over, yank Meg out of the car, and give her a time out. No, wait, that wasn't my first thought. My first real though was to burst into tears and admit I am a bad mother. Then I had the thought about the time out. Then I wondered if she actually does hate me, and how I could fix that. Then I thought about giving her some more candy. Then I went back to wanting to burst into tears. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw Meg sitting smugly in her car seat. Her eyes met mine. She was grinning with my silence. I pulled the car over and turned around.

"Meg, you hurt my feelings," I said. I didn't really know where I was going, but that felt like the right tactic. Her face fell.

"Why," she asked.

"You said you hate me. I love you, so that hurts my feelings." I could see the wheels spinning.

"I love you, Mommy. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

"I love you too, Meggo. It's okay."

I would love to tell you that was the last time she has used that word. That since then she hasn't said it at all, realizing the power of words. That's not the case though. She is still experimenting with it, trying to see if the reaction gets bigger or smaller. She has also expanded her range. While I have been typing this I heard Meg tell her Dad she hates him because he turned off "Angelina Ballerina." He's now explaining to her what it means, and why it hurts. He's telling her we will always love her, even if she says she hates us.

I guess this is good practice for when she is 16. Of course, then she'll mean it...

I can only imagine how that will hurt.

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Wieners and the Truth

I really hate it when Republicans do something better than Democrats -- even when it comes to embarrassing sex scandals.

Think of the last three big Democrat sex scandals: Clinton, Edwards, and now, the fortunately named, Weiner. All three engaged in varying degrees of sleazy behavior, all three lied about it, and all three really wouldn't have been in that much trouble if they told the truth in the first place. However, because they didn't (for whatever reasons: wives, cowardice, wanting to see his package on TV more) one faced impeachment, one is facing criminal charges, and one will likely face an ethics sanction. Not because of what they did with their dicks, but because they lied about it.

Now think about the latest Republican scandal. You know the name -- it's as big as his bicep. Arnold fathered a child with a household staff member, hid the child for more than a decade, and then just released a little four line message admitting to all of it and saying he was sorry.

All four of these men faced the wrath of the press, and their wives, and the public. All four of these men took (or will take) career hits because of their indiscretions. However, three of them tried to publicly deny their guilt, claimed to be victims, and then had to make very public admissions of mea culpas in front of a slobbering press corps. One of them just got to write a note.

Oh, and Arnold was smart enough to have his sex scandal surface after he was out of office! Score -- no criminal charges or ethics investigations. Think of how much money he saved the people of California.

If only the people of New York were so lucky.

Well, what do you expect from Democrats though? After all, we do love to spend.

Ugh.

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