Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Grow it, Show it

My hair has gotten long.

Wait, no, that's not accurate.

My hair has gotten too damn long.

No, I am not talking Crystal Gayle length or anything, because that would be too damn crazy ass long. However, it has gotten long enough that when I see people I haven't seen in a while the first thing they say is "wow, look at your hair." That's actually the only time I am really grateful my hair has gotten as long as it has because they could say, "Wow, you've put on weight!" and that would be a true statement as well. The hair distracts them.

All other times, though? I do not like this hair.


There are really only two styles I can do with it: straight down and ponytail. I tried doing a half up, half down style that I used to love when I had mid-length hair, but I just ended up kind of looking like a Polygamist wife. That is not a look you want to have in Utah. I have tried braiding it, but with the aforementioned weight gain I end up looking like a pin head. Also, braiding would violate all of my rules for how a woman my age should behave.

My hair is everywhere now. It's its own entity. I find it in balls under the table, or wisps on my desk. Meg is always saying "your hair is on me," and it usually is, even if I am standing ten feet away.  As it gets longer it seems to get thicker too, reaching out to overtake everything around it. Oh, and don't even get me started on how it gets in the way when I am trying to be "amorous." I am beginning to worry my husband must have an Addams Family fetish because dalliances with me have become like getting it on with Cousin It.

So, then, why don't I just go ahead and cut it?

Because my daughter thinks it's beautiful, and I love the way I look through her eyes.

I love the fact she likes to pull my hair across her mouth and make a moustache. I love that she likes to sit in my lap and "hide" in it. I love that she wants to pet it as she goes to sleep. I love that she calls it my "big beautiful hair." I love her, so no matter how much I hate my hair, I'm keeping it for now.

Maybe I should start practicing "Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Blue" right now in case it gets too out of control...

Oh, wait, I already have blue eyes.

"Talking in your sleep," it is.

15 comments:

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

I'm with Meg- I love long hair. And based on your photo, yours looks nice and healthy (unlike the electrocution nightmare living on my scalp). Maybe you should get layers. I've always thought that kind of adds in instant "style" to it, which ultimately means less work is involved.

Jill VT said...

Well, it looks great - and remember men all thing long hair is hot. So men and Meg are wrapped around your little finger. That has to be good!

Gina said...

I'd tell you your hair is pretty, but I'm too busy SINGING THAT DAMNED SONG NOW!!

"You've been talking in your sleep, sleeping in your dreams, with some sweet lover..."

Dammit!

Dr. Cynicism said...

Straight down and ponytail are all you need! Keep rocking the new long locks :-)

Jody said...

Your hair is beautiful long - and very healthy looking; bonus if you don't have to 'straighten' it for it to look like that :)

Many women would love that gorgeous head of hair :)

Katie said...

Wow, your hair is gorgeous. I wish mine would grow that long. I love it!

Granny Annie said...

I just wish that I had hair.

Granny Annie said...

cetceI just wish that I had hair.

Kelly said...

I am a little jealous. Mea tends to like my hair longer too. :)

Jay Ferris said...

How much are you charging to let random tall bearded men brush it? I'm asking for a friend.

Sarah said...

Aaaaand a post about out-of-control hair has made me cry. Time to go to bed!

Stopcallingmeshirley07 said...

You have nice hair. That is all.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

My hair is about exactly the same length as yours with a few more layers and I go through this EVERY DAMN DAY and also? There are FOUR hair salons within a five minute walk of my apartment yet I'm too lazy to go. Mine's slightly wavier than yours and crazy assed thick as hell and some days, usually the days I've reached the end of my tether and want to get the shears out, I look in the mirror and it has the nerve to look good. Yet feel so bad. Grrrrr. I'm seriously thinking this month I will cut at least three inches off that sucker. Maybe more.

I kind of like it on you though...

Achelois said...

My hair will not grow long, never has never will. It is fine & on a damp day frizzy, the rest of the time not straight not curly. Your hair is in another league altogether, it is absolutely beatiful. humph.. minor sulk...
The 'conversation' between your children almost makes me pleased mine are 19 & 21. I do however miss the meandersings of a young childs mind.

Hello by the way, I quite forgot the niceties I was so busy being jealous of your hair!

Rassles said...

There is a series of books written by Robert Jordan called Wheel of Time, which you may or may not be familiar with, but either way: you have to be a grown ass woman to braid your hair in those books. I say braid the hell out of it, because it's luscious.