Thursday, March 15, 2012

Money, Money, Money

I am trying to come up with ways to make money. Other than with my job, that is, for which I am probably vastly overpaid, and yet feels like it doesn't pay nearly enough. I'm talking about some magic bullet money making scheme that will solve all of our financial worries, and make it so we don't have think twice when making non-insane purchases.

So far? I got nothing.

Well, maybe not totally nothing. Today while I was thinking about how to make more money I decided to "brainstorm" and write down ideas. I came up with:
  1. Be a personal speech writer for people who have to speak at weddings and other events. 
  2. Show people my boobs for money. 
  3. Offer to teach people how to make extra money, then sell them those ideas. Tell them no refunds. 
Yeah, sorry, I was wrong. I got nothing. 

Did you know the woman who invented Spanx is now a billionaire? And all it took was making too tight panty hose. I'm sure there were a couple other steps in there -- marketing, business plan, blah, blah, blah -- but I like to think she made her super girdle, held it aloft and the money just came pouring down on her head. That makes it feel more like something that could happen to me. 

Okay, right now, impromptu brainstorming session. What are things people need, but cannot buy? AND GO!
  1. Bathtub shorteners for people who like to lie down in the bath and not drown, but are too short to touch both ends. 
  2. Armpit patches for people who don't want to shave but don't want to look like hippies. 
  3. Something that makes everyone skinny and doesn't cost much, and is totally organic -- like magic. 
Shit, now I'm back to charging people to look at my boobs. 

I do have nice boobs though...


LL Cool Joe said...

How about selling stuff on ebay? You could even list photos of your boobs.

Kelly said...

I want a picture of your boobs!

They might be famous someday, and then I could say, "Look at this picture of Libby's boobs, I knew her when..."

Anonymous said...

You could do a 365 photos boob project.

Summer said...

Are you really that short?

erin said...

Ugh. I finally got a full time job at 30 even though I graduated college when I was 21, my parents hard earned money they thought they wasted on tuition for my BA finally put to use...but it still hasn't seemed to make that much of a difference in our financial situation and I don't know how that's even possible!

Regardless when I was just freelancing I used to write papers and essays for college students. No lie. I'm a horrible, horrible person.

The Twisted Tine said...

All of those are killer ideas, boobs included. Steph and I talked last night about selling her panties... we figure there's a healthy market out there for that sort of thing, although we're not sure what sort of forums to market it in.

You could make gourmet something-or-other and sell it on Etsy... might be worth a shot.

Or, boobs, y'know. Everyone loves boobs.

for a different kind of girl said...

What about that former Housewife of Wherever Frankel lady who created Skinny Girl cocktails? Rich off selling that stuff! I need to start drinking, and when I do, I might be willing, some would say compelled, to display my boobs for cash. Long story short, if you're ever interested in talking partnership, I'll bring the wine.

Riot Kitty said...

LOL Joey!

About that tight pantyhose woman... Seriously?

If you could make something guaranteed to increase dick size you'd be rich overnight. Even if it didn't actually work.

Gina said...

Sadly, I failed to take advantage of the Boobs for Money plan when it was still viable.

Anonymous said...

I wish I could come up with a brilliant patent to make money. Too bad no creativity whatsoever runs through my blood. I guess I'll just be forced to show my boobs?

The Kewish Family said...

for the record, I would totally pay for bathtub shorteners. I seriously can never take a "real" bath. Should I just write you a check??

Patty O. said...

I'm with you. I would really love to come up with some money making schemes that work. Right now I am cobbling together a bunch of part-time stuff, like writing for our local paper and doing book reviews for a website. But I make next to nothing, and I am soooo sick of worrying about money. Wish I had the kind of boobs people would pay to see. Alas, I am very small-chested..

Sam said...

Yes, go with the boobs plan. And let me know how it works, because I might pay you for the idea and try it, too.

Dr. Cynicism said...

I think the combo of #s 1 + 2 from the first list would be good! Teach people how to show their boobs at weddings, instead of giving speeches! Think of all the viral internet vids you would be responsible for!