People often ask me "Libby, what is the secret to a good marriage?"
I guess they figure that I have been married successfully for seven years, coupled successfully for more than a decade and am, after all, the Libby in Libby Logic. That's why they are probably shocked when I tell them I have no fucking idea what the secret to a good marriage is and they probably shouldn't be thinking about getting married if they think there is actually a "secret" to it. Then I ridicule them about probably still believing in fairies and ask them to talk to me when they stop drawing their initials in hearts on their Justin Bieber notebooks.
Sometimes, as they are they are walking away, crying, I do start to feel kinda bad. I do actually know the secret to a good marriage, and it's "marry Ryan." I don't want to share though.
There are so many reason I love Ryan. I love that he proudly wears a t-shirt that says "this is what a feminist looks like." I love that he helps me see the humor in the fact he loves the t-shirt with this picture too:
Normally, even considering buying that shirt would get a person killed.
I love that he comes in to "tag out" wrestler style when he hears frustration climbing into my voice when dealing with Meg. I love that when he is away from home on business he misses us so much it makes him think crazy thoughts like maybe he should become a beekeeper so he can be home more. I love that when I am going crazy about the whole infertility thing and how he probably wouldn't have married me if he had know about it upfront he says things like "I fell in love with you, not your uterus." I love the fact that at the height of the reproductive crazies, when I threw salt and pepper shakers at him, Ryan didn't run screaming, but instead put me to bed, and then went out into the yard with a flashlight to retrieve them.
Oh, and then there are the things I love about Ryan I can't write here, because my Mom reads this. Hi Mom!
Well, maybe the secret isn't to marry Ryan. Maybe the secret is to marry someone who will love you enough to do all those things for you. Someone who not only wants to give you their best, but brings out your best, and protects you from your worst. Someone who doesn't make writing their initials on your Justin Bieber notebook seem crazy -- just loving.
Yeah, no, that's never going to happen. I would even have to mock myself.