Thursday, February 16, 2012

The "Secret"

People often ask me "Libby, what is the secret to a good marriage?"

I guess they figure that I have been married successfully for seven years, coupled successfully for more than a decade and am, after all, the Libby in Libby Logic. That's why they are probably shocked when I tell them I have no fucking idea what the secret to a good marriage is and they probably shouldn't be thinking about getting married if they think there is actually a "secret" to it. Then I ridicule them about probably still believing in fairies and ask them to talk to me when they stop drawing their initials in hearts on their Justin Bieber notebooks.

Sometimes, as they are they are walking away, crying, I do start to feel kinda bad. I do actually know the secret to a good marriage, and it's "marry Ryan." I don't want to share though.

There are so many reason I love Ryan. I love that he proudly wears a t-shirt that says "this is what a feminist looks like." I love that he helps me see the humor in the fact he loves the t-shirt with this picture too:


Normally, even considering buying that shirt would get a person killed.

I love that he comes in to "tag out" wrestler style when he hears frustration climbing into my voice when dealing with Meg. I love that when he is away from home on business he misses us so much it makes him think crazy thoughts like maybe he should become a beekeeper so he can be home more. I love that when I am going crazy about the whole infertility thing and how he probably wouldn't have married me if he had know about it upfront he says things like "I fell in love with you, not your uterus." I love the fact that at the height of the reproductive crazies, when I threw salt and pepper shakers at him, Ryan didn't run screaming, but instead put me to bed, and then went out into the yard with a flashlight to retrieve them.

Oh, and then there are the things I love about Ryan I can't write here, because my Mom reads this. Hi Mom!

Well, maybe the secret isn't to marry Ryan. Maybe the secret is to marry someone who will love you enough to do all those things for you. Someone who not only wants to give you their best, but brings out your best, and protects you from your worst. Someone who doesn't make writing their initials on your Justin Bieber notebook seem crazy -- just loving.

Yeah, no, that's never going to happen. I would even have to mock myself.

13 comments:

Nicole said...

Awwww. AWWWWWWW. Ryan sounds great.

I have a love note from the Hubs pinned on the fridge. It was slipped under our Keurig the other morning. We've been using the little insert that you can fill with your own coffee. It's sometimes irritating to fill a tiny filter basket with a couple of tablespoons of coffee first thing in the morning. So, when I saw, "It's filled with coffee," scribbled on my note, I knew it was really a love note in disguise.

Jen said...

Awww, Libby. That was so mushy. ;) P and I have been together for 11 years. People are always asking me how to have a successful relationship and I want to say, "I have no effin clue how this is happening." Mostly, it's due to his genuine kindness.

Amanda said...

A new Christmas Shoes for you...

http://www.snopes.com/glurge/carry.asp

The Vegetable Assassin said...

So sweet! I must apologize though, for the fact I may possibly have guffawed like an old man at the salt and pepper shaker thing when it was clearly not funny. (hee!)

Rassles said...

That gator picture is awesome. Specifically because of the crocs. If I were going to Gatorland I would buy a pair of crocs just to wear there.

Duffmano said...

I threw a chair once. A chair.
Ahem.
Anyway, this makes me all warm and happy inside for you but then you know I'm going to go make a checklist to bring to my husband to bitch about the fact that he hasn't made up an awesome "tag out" move.
That is something that has to be rectified this instant.

LL Cool Joe said...

Awww too cute. I've been married for 25 years and I have no idea what makes a relationship work.

Granny Annie said...

Maybe it has to do with the name starting with an "R" because sounds like my Ron. I didn't find him until I was 52 and had no idea such a man existed. If only he was more discrete about farting.

Erin said...

That is so sweet!! I love the feminist t-shirt thing. :) He sounds like a great guy, and thank goodness!

Kelly said...

You can admit to writing your initials on your Justin Beiber notebook. We won't laugh. Really.

Ryan is totally inital worthy.

Hippo Brigade said...

you're so cute! This was inspiring, maybe one day I'll write a mushy post about my man too. Or maybe I'll just keep writing about the dog...

Riot Kitty said...

That is hilarious, the part about your mom reading it! Would the secret be akin to your ideas for Valentine's Day? :)

Sam said...

I got choked up reading this post. Because I'm PMS-ing, and because Ryan sounds lovely, and because he's lucky to have someone as eloquent and thoughtful as you in his life, and because that thing with the salt-and-pepper shakers pretty powerfully brought back some of the stuff David put up with during the height of our infertility crazies.