The DMV truly is hell's waiting room.
Today, I went there to get my driver's license renewed, and spent a total of 27 minutes inside. During that time I witnessed seven fights, two of which almost got physical. And all but one of them were started by a DMV worker.
Let's just start with the fact that getting your driver's license renewed in Utah has become an epic task. They now have so many requirements it is unlikely that you will be able to get your license in just one visit. Every time you miss one of these requirements? There is a DMV worker standing there willing to tell you you have to start the whole process over again. And they are willing to tell it to you in a way that blends smug and nasty into a perfect evil cocktail.
Didn't print out your appointment confirmation sheet? You don't have an appointment.
Don't have your application completely filled out? I can't help you.
Don't have your birth certificate AND social security card AND passport? Don't argue sir, I'm just following the rules.
Don't have not one but two pieces of mail delivered to your home in the past month from an official source bearing your full name? You are just wasting your time.
Didn't find the hen's teeth and a four leaf clover on the scavenger hunt? You really shouldn't be driving any way.
Yes, those are all real responses I heard. Well, almost all of them.
Surprisingly, me, the person who regularly leaves my keys/wallet/sunglasses/baby behind managed to have all the things I needed to complete the process. I felt like I had completed an epic quest as I walked up to the desk for the final paperwork.
The guy helping me was not impressed. In fact, me having all my paperwork in order seemed to make him even angrier. My attempts to smile at him were met with glares, and the two times I asked questions (one being "how are you") he stopped everything he was doing to just stare at me as if I had just asked if I could pound nails through his hand.
When I left I told him to "have a nice day." His response? "It's unlikely, but I appreciate the sentiment."
I think my new driver's license picture sums up my experience.
This is temporary. The real one will be in Technicolor.
Actually, that's not a bad one. The lady next to me actually had fire coming out of her eyes.
Unfortunately that's against the rules, so she has to go back next week...