Monday, March 7, 2011

Welcome Wagon

We have a rental house next to us, which means that we don't always have the most reputable neighbors. About a year after we moved in we had a group of college boys that were loud every night. If they weren't having a party, they were playing midnight Frisbee, or loudly calling their demon dog. One night I had had enough, so I went outside to yell at them. However, I didn't feel all that confident, so I did it in an English accent. Not my best moment. I ended up talking that way for the next four months until they moved out. Luckily, Ryan could not keep a straight face when I was doing it, so he looked stupider than I did.

I really thought that was going to be my worst neighbor story. I was wrong.

Tonight I pulled in the driveway to see a man staggering up the street. He collapsed on the lawn of the rental house. Twice I asked him if he was okay, and twice he didn't answer. I went inside and watched him from my window for about five minutes, and then I called the cops.

I think you know where this is going.

By the time I got off the phone Ryan was in the front yard talking to this guy, finding out what was wrong. He said he was having chest pains. Ryan said to come get us if they got worse. When Ryan came up the stairs I asked him why he would tell this stranger to come to our house if he was having chest pains. "That's one of our new neighbors, " Ryan replied, just as the fire truck and ambulance rolled up.


We still aren't sure what happened. We know he was taken away in an ambulance. I now know he is the nephew of the family moving in. We know no one has really been home since, but they haven't fully moved in yet, so they could be at the other house. We are hoping when they do fully arrive they don't hate us.

Ryan says I might be able to make it better if I break out the English accent.

I think we might have to move.

10 comments:

Gina said...

I know all about sucky neighbors. On one side, we have the ones that let their dog run free to tear up our garbage and shit all over our yard. The dog also steals things off our porch and then the alcoholic wife gets mad because our stuff keeps ending up at her house o_O

On the other side, we have the ones that ignore toddlers saying hello and once informed up that we can't be friends with each other's dogs.

BugginWord said...

Now see? I automatically assumed he was trashed. This is what living in a town of Frat boys is doing to me.

Jen said...

We have a staggering drunk a few doors down. He randomly rings the doorbells of houses at 2 am trying to find his house. Ryan is nicer than me, I wouldn't have even approached out of fear.

youwannawhat said...

lolololol! i want to be your new neighbor! you always make me laugh...!...
we have 'issues' with our neighbor's on one side due to a dog incident (they own a decendant of cujo) one day when i did the neighborly act of knocking on their dog to let them know their dog was wandering up and down the street..their dog attacked my ankle...(i was holding our baby)...i had never really been afraid of dogs (we own a large shepard)...the neighbors ended up not at home...and i was worried someone else was going to be bitten so i called animal control...animal control came out and found out the neigbor's didn't have the required fencing by law (they have a pit bull and in our province there is required fencing for pit bulls)...sooo...they have been forced to pen the dog..and when they walk it...even in their own backyard it has to have a muzzle..and be on a leash...in their own yard....needless to say...rather tense...ughhh...you think i can use a new accent...to lessen the tension?....

Kelly said...

We have all kinds of crazy neighbor stories. This weekend, a car was driving down our street, and lost a wheel in our yard. Stopped/crashed right in front of our house.

I think it's us. The crazies just follow us where ever we go.

wildology said...

What if you saved his life and they are now indebted to you forever? No English accent needed:)

Erin said...

It's hard to sass an English lady. They're so authoritative. Good call on that one, I say. As for this one, you may have saved the guy's life! They should be grateful.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Oh dear. Maybe you should include defribillation paddles in their welcom basket....

Ellie

rockygrace said...

They should definitely be grateful! That dude could have died!

And oh man, I've got a million crazy neighbor stories. (Not that you asked.) This one time (I'm gonna tell you one anyway) when I was living in an apartment building, a neighbor crashed through my ceiling. Just like Santa! With bad aim.

manders said...

haha! i love the english accent story. good thing the frat boys only lasted a few months :)