Thursday, March 3, 2011

Expanding Vocabulary

We are going to Mexico (yay)! So, I need a new swimming suit (boo)!

I haven't bought a swimming suit in five years. Yes, that means the last time I wriggled into Lycra in front of a three way mirror was long before the fertility treatments -- and the pounds that came with them. Now, granted, I have lost some of that weight since, but I was still nervous. I needed support. I needed a distraction. I needed Meg.

Look at the cute toddler, not at the fat girl in the Mom swimsuit.
And no, I wasn't just taking pictures of myself, I was sending them to Tara for advice.

Meg thought shopping for swimsuits was hilarious. She loved running through the aisles, putting on the straps, and taking all the compliments from the saleswomen. She loved the echo in the dressing room. Most of all though, she loved watching me try them on.

Wait, that sounded bad. I'll explain.

Meg is at that age where she wants to know EVERYTHING. If there is a thing she cannot name, she points and says "that." We then tell her what it is called, and she repeats it at least four times, cementing into her brain. One of them words she recently stuck there? Boobs. So, every time I would take a swimsuit off, or start to put one on Meg would look up at me, point, and say "Mom's boobs."

Did I mention the dressing room echoed?

I was embarrassed at first. I tried to distract her with games on my phone, but every time I was topless she would comment. Finally, I just gave up. Every time she said it I would just say "yes, those are my boobs, or breasts. Can you say breasts?" I figured that would at least sound a bit classier to the women in the neighboring booths, and get her practicing her r sounds.

In the end though, Meg made it the most painless swimsuit shopping experience. After all, I will never see any of those people who heard her yelling about my boobs again, plus I'm pretty sure most of the saleswomen are almost totally deaf.

Oh, and I didn't focus on my thighs at all...

29 comments:

Kim said...

No wonder she kept saying Boobs! You are ALL BOOBS! Good god woman!

She Said said...

I so need a good swimming suit experience. Can I borrow Meg?

The Vegetable Assassin said...

LOL, good for Meg. At least it wasn't TITS. The girl is at least polite. Breasts on a three year old would be....creepy. And at least it was your top area. :)

Hey, your hair looks good in that pic. The other one must've had weird lighting or something, it looks good!

Also dude, you have amazingly svelte arms and legs, get a shorter suit and show those babies off!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Um. I meant "breasts" FROM a three year old. Not ON. Although, granted, that would be EXTREMELY creepy too :)

Riot Kitty said...

Cute picture! And you don't look at at all, so don't be silly.

Ellen said...

Forget the boobs... I can't stop looking at your right hand! What on earth are you doing with it?

Ca88andra said...

I needed Meg with me a few weeks ago when I was trying to find a swimsuit. It sounds like you had a lot of fun!

Granny Annie said...

Looks like you can wear a much more form-fitting suit so don't hide yourself in that one. My daughter had a similar shopping trip with her young daughter. Her child grabbed a bra and went running through the store chanting "boobies, boobies, boobies!" What things salespeople must see and hear.

Jen Has A Pen said...

She is a comedienne, like her mom. :-) What a good girl to give you material for blog posts!

Jody said...

What a great post :) I'm still smiling. And like VA said, you don't need a dress bathing suit - get one that show's off your assets and no one will even notice your thigs ;)

Kelly said...

Ah, the joys of shopping with children. I remember fondly Mack telling me at about 4 or 5, "Just buy that one, it doesn't make you look fat." In a crowded dressing room.

I think I'd rather she just talk about my boobs.

Gina said...

Oh God, I hate swimsuit shopping! I usually go with booze as my distraction, but maybe I need to borrow a toddler. And I am all about the mom suit!

Jotter said...

Can I borrow Meg? I've got some shopping to do!

Summer said...

1. Nice boobs.
2. I'm jealous of your pending vacation.
3. She sounds like a lot better shopping company than the boys. Trust.

Hippo Brigade said...

Boobs is one of those great words, that honestly never gets old.
Berlyn has exclaimed more than once while we were both in a public bathroom, "Mommy, you have hair on your vagina!"

Gulp.

That's embarrassing.

Jen said...

I hate swimsuit shopping. I will bring E next time for the distraction. E calls boobs 'nipples'. And always, ALWAYS at the loudest volume she can manage.

youwannawhat said...

yes...was going to ask to borrow meg for a swimsuit shopping expendition i have to soon do (am going to florida for march break)...looks like she is in heavy shopping demand!

Erin said...

Swimsuit shopping is from the devil. I hope the one I have lasts me forever.

BugginWord said...

I covet your upper arms. And a swimsuit that'll hide the junk in my trunk. And that really hot guy from White Collar.

erin said...

Elijah loves to smack my butt because it shakes.

Yep.

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

You are so brave! But you look great! I always order my swimsuits online so I can cry in the privacy of my own room.

Phil said...

Mexico is great. Have fun. At least she isn't pointing at your husband and saying boobs!

Jules said...

Are you wearing a swimsuit? All I see is a cute baby....

BOOBS!

LL Cool Joe said...

The hair looks great and the swimsuit.

Meg looks like she loved every minute of the shopping trip!

mylittlebecky said...

BOOOOOOOOOOOBS! this is the best thing ever! meg and i are soulmates. :)

Eric said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elizabeth said...

(Whoops! Wrong person!)
Well, maybe she'll at least be kind enough to avoid pointing out any manboobs you may encounter at the beach!

Rassles said...

I have never tried on swimsuits with someone else with me, like I won't take my best gal pal and go bikini shopping because it sounds terrifying.

A CHILD? I know she's YOUR child, but GAAAH. Scary scary.

Sam said...

You look great, my love. And the two of you are an unbeatable team. Jarrah is quite obsessed with my "boobies" as well. In fact, when she was a little younger, we had to actually make an arrangement that if she felt compelled to squeeze one, it had to be at home, and not while I was emptying the grocery cart at Vons.