Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Secret Recipe

The television channel has changed! Hurray! No more learning as I try to work out! Hurray, hurray! Oh, and the new television channel has introduced me to my new hero: Judie Byrd.

Isn't she perky? As you can tell, her show is all about cooking -- and cooking fun things to boot! Truly, I don't think she made a single dish she didn't say was fun. Chicken salad? FUN! Cabbage salad? FUN! Noodle salad? FUN! Now, I have only seen the one show, but I am guessing if she thinks salads are fun she is extra pumped about other foods.

Oh, and Judie is not only perky, but adventurous too! Now, don't be too afraid, but one of the salad dressings she made had -- wait for it -- sesame oil. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? HOW DO THEY GET THOSE TINY SEEDS OPEN? Plus, and this may actually make you quiver a little bit, it had rice vinegar too. THAT'S RIGHT, VINEGAR MADE OUT OF RICE! NOT EVEN KIDDING! I was pretty shocked when Judie pulled out these "ingredients," but luckily she let me know that they really weren't all that odd, and that people all over Asia (her implied italics, not mine) use them every day. Asia? I'm just going to have to take her word for it.

While she may use crazy ingredients, don't fret, Judie is all American. Not one of her recipes included less than a half a cup of oil. She even used it to fry those crazy sesame seeds, because we all know while toasting them might make them just as, if not more, delicious, it would also make her a communist. Oh, oh, oh! She also added salt to a dressing that had a third cup of soy sauce in it! Only in America can you get a salad that gives you hypertension.

Seriously, Mr. T should have been hanging his head in shame when his "fat cutting" oven infomercial tried to follow her show. I pitied that fool.

I might now actually miss learning about WWII weapons.

9 comments:

Chelle said...

She says Asia and she puts salt in soy sauce??

I need to pvr that shiz.

She looks short too. All short people are firecrackers. Everyone knows that.

Riot Kitty said...

I am laughing my ass off...I might have to find her on You Tube just for giggles.

Granny Annie said...

Great and funny post and I didn't miss the hilarity of it, but seriously I was caught up on Mr.T having a fat-burning oven. Who knew? Now that would make cooking fun if you can watch the fat flare up.

Katie said...

I'm with Riot Kitty. It sounds like I need to YouTube this chick. Although maybe it's best to pick a day when I'm not so hormonal. Perky tends to get on my nerves fast.

(See what I mean? I'm bitchy!)

Listen To Your Mother Show- Austin said...

You kill me.

Erin said...

Ok, she sounds like a 'tard.

BugginWord said...

Who'd have guessed there's someone even more annoying that little miss EVOO?

Lulu said...

How FUN!!! HYPERTENSION!! STEREOTYPING!!! SALADING!!!

Does she push Red Bull on another channel?

Phil said...

Ironically, you seem as excited about her as she does about salad. And yeah, 'fun' and 'salad' in the same sentence don't exactly work.