Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Ghost in the Machine

I got an email from my friend Jane last night, which is interesting only because she has been dead for almost five years.

I think it's obvious what happened: the virus that has been plaguing everyone's inboxes somehow got passed onto her old account, and sent out to everyone in her address book. However, for just a second, when I saw her name pop up in my inbox, I didn't think that. It actually took me moment to remember she's gone. In that split second I was just getting an email from my friend Jane, that would probably mock me, or annoy me in some way. I really liked that instant; probably because, even almost five years later, I still haven't been able to let Jane go.

Jane's number is still in my phone, even though I have changed phones numerous times. Her email is not only still in my address book, but in the "first contact friends" file. There are still times when something will happen, and I realize Jane would be the only person to truly appreciate it. I really can't believe she didn't get to meet my daughter, or her nieces, or any of the other fabulous children that are now in the lives of her friends and family. Those kids are definitely missing out, if for no other reason than she would have taught them really dirty jokes. I can't believe she missed out on Obama becoming President. She would have loved that. Oh, and the Kardashians! I know she would have been totally obsessed, all the while pretending she knew nothing.

Sigh.

Now I kind of wish someone would hack her account again. I would even click on the link.

13 comments:

JenS said...

"We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence." - Joseph Roux

Deidra said...

There is also no name for a parent who has lost a child.

English needs some revision.

Daniel said...

The internet is a haunted place, I've decided.

I wonder about that from time to time. I've never really lost anyone that was that close to me before in an internet-y kind of way, but I do know of people or have had acquaintances that have died, meanwhile their Facebook (which I refuse to be a part of ) still go on strong, with their hundreds of friends and that cheerful and never-changing main picture...

I'm sorry.

Ash said...

aww :( i'm sorry for the loss. :(

~ash's mum

Amanda said...

That brought tears to my eyes. Meg would have LOVED Jane.

Riot Kitty said...

That's sad - I'm sorry. My computer accidentally sent an e-mail to my late friend Ward once, and it didn't bounce, which was also weird.

Scribe said...

I like to think it was a sign... hang onto the good feeling, Libby.

LL Cool Joe said...

I think maybe it was a sign too, and yet I'm not really the kind of person to even think that way.

I've had a friend for years and years and her identical twin sister died of cancer 11 years ago, I've never forgotten her either, but somehow her twin keeps her alive, just by living.

That sounds weird I know.

I'm sorry for your loss. I've lost way too many people over the years.

Kelly said...

I still have my Mother-in-law and my Aunt's phone number's stored in my phone, after 6 years and 3 years of them being gone. They would have loved my Mea, the most.

Mea has actually been caught playing with my phone, at some point or another, and had her Grandma's phone number pulled up, and her Great Aunt's. Different times, but still, so chilling when it happened. Like they were trying to say hello to her.

BugginWord said...

*raises champagne flute to Jane*

Kelley said...

I know we talked about this via Twitter, but it made me sad when I read that you got that e-mail. Now I see that maybe you are glad you got it, because all the memories about her came flooding back. I love that she would've love the Kardashians but would've acted like she didn't know anything. I am so sorry you lost your sweet friend!

FabuLeslie said...

Aww. This post made me so so sad. I'm hoping you are comforted by the happy memories you obviously have in your heart of your friend.

p.s. who are the kardashians?

for a different kind of girl said...

I have numbers for three people in my cell I'll not get to talk with again. Sometimes, I scroll through and just stare at those digits. Other times, I'll hit 'send' and listen to them ring for a bit. Tough.