Really, I was so overwhelmed by your kind words and suggestions that I considered writing some bad poetry about night rainbows and missing unicorns just to keep the love flowing. Then I realized there is a line between depression and reverting to junior high, and stopped work on my painting of Robert Smith done in my own blood.
One of the things that always surprises me when I am in the depths of depression is how many other people do know what I'm talking about. That I am not the only one. It's like the part of my mind that knows that completely shuts off, convincing me that I am the only one that has ever felt this way. Of course, that is also the part of my brain that tries to convince me that the averageness of depression makes me even more worthless when I remember I am not alone in all this. That part of my brain is a real asshole.
I am ignoring the asshole part of my brain right now though, and taking comfort in not feeling alone -- whether it be from Tara reminding me that she knows my crazy so well she could map it -- and match it with her own, or Joe hitting on our common panic button of death from way across the pond. I also did my first day without Nutrasweet in probably years thanks to a suggestion from the Tame One. I don't know if that will work yet, especially since Diet Pepsi withdrawal rage is powerful in my blood, but we'll see. I am even considering Shalyse's suggestion of acupuncture, though I tried it before for fertility, and it just felt like little needles in my face.
It's nice to know the Internet is good for more than porn and pyramid schemes. I mean, at least the non-money making part of it.
I mean that.