I have a new crush. Honestly, I have to say, I'm a bit embarrassed about how quickly, and how deeply I've fallen, but I think this could be the real thing. You know how you've heard stories about people just seeing a picture and falling in love? Yeah, I thought it was bullshit, but that's how it is for me -- and Christine O'Donnell.
Isn't she lovely? Isn't she perfect? Doesn't she just scream "no Republican Senate majority in 2011"? Sigh. I know. It's like the Republican voters of Delaware went up to heaven, and picked out an angel. An inexperienced, homophobic, rhetoric spewing, slightly racist angel. God bless them for it.
Really, I don't know what I love most about Christine (we aren't to the pet name phase yet, but I'm thinking "Nutso," just because I'm so crazy about her.) It could be the fact she won a Senate primary without really taking stand on anything, just spouting lines about "changing the system," and being a "Washington outsider." It could be that Sarah Palin called her a "Granite Grizzly" and made robo phone calls for her. It could be that she realized just how important she is and spent campaign contributions on what really mattered -- herself -- despite what any silly election laws might have said.
Want to know something really neat about Christine? She doesn't believe in lying. I know, I know, it's amazing. She thinks that God will intervene before anyone has to lie, but only if the cause is just. I guess that means God had a definite opinion about hiding Jews during the Holocaust. I'm sure Anne Frank understands though. Christine would probably point out she she got a book deal out of it, and call that a "win/win."
Christine has also made me rethink my marriage. After all, did you know it's adultery, even if it's only masturbation? That's right, ladies, everyone's husband is cheating on them -- some five or six times a day. I'm okay with it though, because it means it will be easier to get a divorce from Ryan and marry my true love Christine. Of course, I mean, once the Supreme Court makes it legal, and Christine stops thinking of homosexuality as something that can be "fixed."
After all, nothing can change this love I feel. And I think all Democrats waiting for the Republican party either to become more human, or completely implode feel the same way. Maybe we could start a support group.