Monday, September 20, 2010

I'm Not Lame, I'm Hurt

Tonight was going to be awesome! Ryan is out late, so I have the house to myself. Meg was tired early, which meant she would asleep by 8:30 at the latest. There was nothing on TV I wanted to watch. I was going to sit down, have a glass of wine, catch up on blogs, and maybe even send my own missive out into cyberspace. You know, something funny about how Christine O'Donnell is taking the fun out of this for me by making the jokes too easy.

That's what I was going to do.

Meg fell asleep at 8:15. Score. I stood up and started to move her from the living room to her bedroom. Her pacifier fell out. She startled. I quickly put it back in her mouth, knowing I could remedy the situation with just a few minutes in the rocking chair. I moved in
to her dark room, and turned around to sit down in the rocker. And I totally missed.

Out rocking chair is not padded. It is not soft. It is a wooden rocking chair, with wooden slats for the seat. Every one of those slats was now pressed into my back, and trying it's best to strip the skin away. I bit my lip and held on tight to Meg, not wanting to drop her, or disturb her. That really wasn't going to happen though, and I let out an enormous yalp of pain as I crumpled to the ground around her.

So, there we were on the floor. The room was still dark. I was crying. Meg was crying. Our dog Sally was just trying to figure out what the fuck happened. Eventually we all calmed down, I turned on the light, assessed the damage done to my back (just a scrape, a REALLY BIG scrape, but a scrape nonetheless), and we went out to the living room to start the process over again.

Meg just fell back to sleep. My back is killing me. Sorry I didn't read any of your blogs tonight, and that this is all you are getting from me.

Wait, I'll make it better -- here's a funny picture of a carrot from my friend Andrew's garden.


See, it looks like it has a penis! HA!

Yeah, I'm done. Good night.

25 comments:

Dual Mom said...

LOL sorry I don't mean to laugh at you...and I'm not really...no no I'm laughing at the carrot. Yeah, that's it.

LL Cool Joe said...

Ouch ouch! Hope your back gets better soon! Sorry your plans for the evening didn't go quite as planned! Ain't that always the way though?

WA said...

After a few more months of motherhood, you'll be a master at silently screaming, "Motherf*cker!" when in pain. Trust me.

Sam said...

Ouch, Libby. That does not sound fun. Hope you're feeling better today.

Amanda said...

Andrew really has to stop with the genetically modified produce.

Kim said...

That carrot actually reminds me of a penis I dated...

The shape. Not the wartiness. Never mind.

Summer said...

Yikes. I hate moments like that. Hope your back feels better.

Kelly said...

Sally wasn't trying to figure out what happened, she pulled the chair out from underneath you. It's the oldest trick in the book.

Little Girl Big Glasses said...

Oh holy hell, OW. Dude, you sound as coordinated as I am. I once tripped UP an escalator while carrying a 2 year old, the teeth ripped through both my knees and chins b/c I was paranoid it was going to eat him and I'd be on the news.

for a different kind of girl said...

My whole body tensed up reading this because I can imagine how badly that had to have hurt. Hope you're feeling as awesome today as that carrot looks!

Erin said...

Ouch!

That carrot actually looks like a penis with a penis.

BugginWord said...

Does that carrot smell like patchouli? Pretty sure I dated him in college.

lifeisacrapshoot said...

OUCH dude! Glad you were both ok though!

Wanna Bee said...

ha ha - fat carrot penis!

Riot Kitty said...

Ouch! So sorry. Hope you feel better soon. Thanks for the carrot penis pic, btw.

Ca88andra said...

You poor thing! I hope your back gets better soon.

Hippo Brigade said...

What do you do with a carrot shaped like a penis? Do you chop it up and eat it?
Do you put it on a platter and serve it to your mother-in-law?
Do you frame it? I'd frame it. That's some funny shit

sweatandsprezzatura said...

Oh, Libby! When I was at this stage of life, I lived in SLC, so your post kinda brings back memories....

Jules said...

Damn, Girl! Maybe I should just take Meg. You know, while you heal.....

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Hope your back feels better soon! The peen carrot... you are becoming like me.. finding peens all around you.

Kelley said...

Ouch!! That sounds like something that would happen to me. I trip over things in my son's room sometimes while I am holding him and get an immediate sinking, oh noooooooooo feeling. To have a big fall actually happen...well, it's around the corner for me, I'm sure. I'm sorry you got hurt! Boo on not having cat eyes!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Oh poor you! And that poor carrot...

Ellie

Ash said...

oh gosh - hope your back is ok now. take gd care.

~ash's mum

justmakingourway said...

Don't sell yourself short - you're totally lame! Oh, wait.

Hope you are feeling better!

FabuLeslie said...

Um, sorry you hurt yourself, but man, that carrot is awesome. Totally makes up for your pain, I hope. Hope you're feeling better!