Monday, August 23, 2010

Just Go to Provo, Chickens

Glenn Beck is getting ready to, once again, separate conservative nut jobs from their money. And this time, he is planning to do it in Washington D.C. Big, scary Washington D.C. You know, the place where Democrats, and "the ethnic" roam the streets freely, and people who want nothing more to protect the rich with AK-47s die like dogs.

Not to worry though, since the thing Tea Partiers know best is how to harbor, promote, and profit off of fear, they have set up several guides for the fanny pack, American flag shirt wearing crowd, so that they don't unexpectedly wander into the "unsafe" (read: black) parts of the nation's capitol. Basically, they have taken the city, and pointed out to those attending the seven block area where they can be "safe." Not surprisingly, those are also the seven blocks where the majority of chain restaurants, and souvenir stands operate. Surprisingly, they say it's safe to go past 17th street on Pennsylvania Avenue. After all, I hear a black guy lives at 1600.

Now, I lived in D.C. for five years in the late 90's. The year I moved there residents were bemoaning the fact the city had just lost the title of "murder capitol of the U.S." to New Orleans. This was far, far before there were million dollar condos, and a tapas bar on every corner. I was young, and FROM UTAH, yet, I never feared that city, and it never gave me a reason to fear. In the entire time I was there the only harm that befell me was harm I brought on myself through bad decisions (boyfriends, drinking, working for FOX). I was never mugged, never robbed, never had property stolen. Oh, and it wasn't because I was so street savvy. Remember, I was 23, and FROM UTAH. No, I didn't jog at midnight along Rock Creek Parkway, but that's just because I didn't jog. I drank there quite a bit though.

I guess what I am trying to say is, a city is only as dangerous as you want it to be. If you fear something, it will become fearful. I always told my little sister (who also lived in D.C. for a time) that the best weapon she could have was a good "I belong here" face. Everyone protects their own -- especially in a city like D.C.

Maybe the Tea Partiers should even steer clear of that seven block area.

I mean, if they want to make it so obvious that they don't even want to make an effort to belong, both in D.C. and the nation. Maybe they should just bus in for the conference. It will be much safer. Then the only time they'll get mugged is when they hand their money over to Glenn -- and they'll be too busy smiling and taking pictures to commemorate it to realize what really happened...

14 comments:

Advocate Mom said...

Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

Well said, Sister!!!

justmakingourway said...

Awesome.
And wait a second,did you really work for Faux News?! And how did I miss that?

Rudi Riet said...

As a resident of DC, I find this troll's "guide" to DC very laughable (and yes, the "guide" was published by a guy who lives in DC, but likely never goes anywhere other than the conservative clubs). I'm all for these Tea Party folk leaving their cash here in the land where the reasons behind the original Boston Tea Party are still alive and well: the residents of DC, myself included, are still taxed without representation.

And you're right, Libby: DC is a fine city. I've seldom ever felt unsafe here, even at night in the more "questionable" Wards. It's a city, and it has city problems - so does Salt Lake City, right?

Well said!

Kristine said...

Heck yes. Spot-on about the "feared becoming the fearful."

Riot Kitty said...

I went to college in NYC in the mid-late 90s and I'd get so irritated when people from home would ask, "How many times have you been mugged?"

I wanted to reply, "How long have you been stupid?"

Selma said...

You are completely right. I live in an inner city area and my conservative family and friends are constantly going on about how I'm going to be mugged, car jacked, you name it. I have never had any trouble. They never stop trying to convince me to move to the suburbs. Little do they know that's where all the serial killers live. It's a crazy, mixed up world.

Jules said...

Wouldn't that seven block area be the most dangerous just because of Beck's screaming? I would think people would get headaches and start stabbing one another. No?

Summer said...

FEAR, FEAR. HATE, HATE. That's all I hear when that idiot speaks. You kind of skated over the fact you worked at Fox. I need the DEETS.

Also, Sarah Palin is making a second appearance in my state. Proof that I am actually surrounded by a bunch of dumbass rednecks. You did hear that she supports Dr. Laura. Shocking, I know.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Very well said!!!
Glenn Beck gives me hives and makes me stabby.

She Said said...

Summer must live in Nevaduh, like me.

Anyway, rock on, Libby. Rock on.

dufmanno said...

We have our problems like any big city (I live in the Mount Pleasant neighborhood in NW)but for the most part it's a great place.
The teabaggers tend to get in my way when they wander off the curb when I'm trying to make a right on red or when their protests block off streets I need to use to get around. THAT makes me want to re-do their special map.

FabuLeslie said...

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry. You worked for FOX??

Amen, Sister! I'm with you. That guy is a disgusting douchebag full of waste. Ugh.

Gina said...

That attitude drives me CRAZY - and I see a lot of it in my small town. People can't believe that I drive all the way into "The City" or that I loved in "The City" or that we like to spend our leisure time in "The City." And of course "The City" is said in a tone that implies "The OMG DRUGS! MURDER! RAPISTS! MUGGERS! SCARY! City."

Becky said...

Mmmmm... Capitol City Brewery. Nuff said.