I don't have a problem with Mormons. I have never been a Mormon, or wanted to be one, but I have lived around them most of my life. I work with them, am friends with several of them, and even count some among my relatives. In fact, in my personal experience, I find that if you don't bother Mormons, they don't bother you. I mean, unless you were once a Mormon, but didn't follow the exact instructions to get on their "do not call" list. In that case? All bets are off.
For instance, this morning the Mormons came calling for my husband.
Yes, my husband, the man who thought it was a good idea to marry me, was once a Mormon. He hasn't been active for years, got married and baptized his child in the Episcopal church, and no longer considers himself Mormon, but he hasn't filled out the official request to be dropped from the church membership. That, coupled with the fact he still has very active Mormon grandparents who occasionally still ask if he will ever go on a "mission," and who know where we live, means occasionally the church comes looking for him. All the other times he has gotten the door, but today, he was busy with Meg. It was my turn.
The boys sent by the local ward (Mormon church) were probably 14 at the most. Puberty had obviously been kinder to one, leaving him looking like the older brother of the other. Both were wearing pink ties -- I don't know if that was required. When I opened the front door they both smiled.
"Hi, is Ryan ______, here?" They mispronounced his last name. I knew something fishy was up.
"Can I help you?" I still wasn't sure if they were Mormons. They could have be selling magazines.
"Well, we're just from the ward up the hill, and we have his name on this list." They both pointed to the list.
"Yeah, he's not a member. Hasn't been for years."
"Well, he's on the list," both pointed again, "so we thought we would check." They smiled bigger.
"Okay, well, thanks." I really wanted to be polite, but I was in the middle of the Times magazine article about abortion providers, and I really wanted to get back to it.
"Are you a member?" The bigger one looked down at his list, searching. He looked back up. I felt I could hear all of the ears of my Mormon friends prick up, waiting to hear what I would say to this young buck. I shook my head ever so slightly. He got the message.
"Would you be interested in community event information?" The little one finally spoke up. Nope, puberty hadn't hit him yet.
"We have friends." I responded.
"Okay. Have a nice day."
"You boys have a nice day too."
I watched them as they walked down the driveway and to the street. They checked the list again, and the little one pointed at a house down the street.
Now, I know some of you are thinking "what harm would it have done to get community event information?" That would have been "bothering" them. Expressing interest. Like if they had asked me about my blog. They never would have gotten away.
Wait! That would be a great way to increase readership!
Maybe next year. After all, as long as Ryan is in the house, and as long as his grandparents know where he is, I know they will be back.