Thursday, July 8, 2010

Nope

Well, damn.

We didn't win the lottery. Didn't even come close. Couldn't even fake it by turning 6s into 8s or 7 into 9s. Out lottery ticket may as well have been in Chinese -- and then the numbers still wouldn't have matched.

I guess we're better off not winning the lottery. First of all, I bet our bank would have charged us a huge fee to cash the giant novelty check. Then we would have had to deal with all those people asking for money: widows, orphans, widowed orphans. I wouldn't know how to determine who was worthy and who wasn't. I would end up just throwing any group with "monkey" in their name. And we all know Peter Tork is already rich enough.

Meg probably wouldn't be a very good rich kid, anyway. Horses scare her, and I don't think caviar would be well received. She does love tuna fish though, and mutt dogs, and hand me down clothes. And watching her enjoy all of those things, and grow, and laugh, and talk, is better than anything money can buy.

Still, it would be nice to offer her the option of caviar. Just to then decide to slum it with tuna -- just for fun.

Damn.

9 comments:

FabuLeslie said...

Also, who wants to have all that gawdy, ugly gold-colored stuff in your house? I'm pretty sure it's a law that you make your house look like Trump's if you win. Nobody wants that.

Jules said...

Damn you. I WAS COUNTING ON YOU!!!!!!!

Now what am I going to do???

JenS said...

Darn it!! I was so hoping I would suddenly "know" someone famously rich. Guess I'll have to come up with plan B.

Deidra said...

Widowed orphans? Wow. That's sad.

Aging Mommy said...

I have not even done the lottery in forever. My husband thinks it would be just wonderful to win but I don't. I think being fabulously rich would not make us happier at all. A little more money yes, but not millions and millions that totally changed our lives. But yes, once in a while the chance to live luxuriously would be very nice!

Lovely post

justmakingourway said...

If I ever win the lottery I'm giving total monetary control to my Dad. Because he has planned for things like that. And studied all those people who have won and then ended up bankrupt. He's like a lottery savant. Now if only I ever played....

Michelle @ Flying Giggles said...

I already had my email all written out asking to borrow a couple thousand.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock said...

Horses scare me too. And snakes. And overflowing toilets. Just, ya know... FYI.

Allison said...

Damn, it's a good thing I put on hold my plans to change my blog name to "Allison's Monkey Business."