Monday, May 24, 2010

Not Funny Any More

Mother Nature is messing with Utah. I would say it's God doing it, but I know this state, and I really don't want to stir that pot. So, I'll blame it on Mother Nature. Today? It snowed. Oh, and it didn't just snow a little bit. Some places got a foot of snow. Think I'm exaggerating? Check this shit out...
Stolen from ksl.com

Yeah, no one in Utah is growing good tomatoes this year. I think we'll be lucky if any of us grow anything but mold.

I would love to say that this is just a one time "joke" from nature, that she's just pulling a prank because she knows how Utahns enjoy a good laugh -- but she has been messing with the state for almost a year. This winter? We had practically no snow. People would arrive in the state and think the "greatest snow on earth" logo on the license plates was ironic. Resorts were asking kids to bring their Snoopy Sno-cone machines up to help cover the slopes. We had a beige Christmas. Well, at least we did in the north. In the south, where it is supposed to be warm in the winter, they got hammered with snow. Record blizzards. All of the retirees came out of their condos to shake their canes at the sky -- to no avail. Of course, we are all good sports, and used to drought years, so we figured that's what it was.

Now we know better. Mother Nature was just setting us up. Wiping off the chair so she could pull it out from under us. Offering us a can of mixed nuts, knowing there is a wire snake inside. Telling us a big celebrity was coming out in People magazine, and then announcing it's Cheley Wright.

We are not amused.

I just wish I knew what she had up her sleeve for summer. I'm guessing either heat beyond belief that makes everything melt quickly and brings the Great Salt Lake back to prehistoric levels, or polar ice caps.

Watch, now it will be temperate and lovely. At least until the locusts come.

That bitch.

21 comments:

FabuLeslie said...

That is unbelievable! I think it was 92 in Austin today. I think we should hold Mother Nature down and force feed her some of that snow she keeps delivering your way. And then make a snowman caricature of her and laugh and laugh (Can you believe that's how to spell caricature? It is. I looked it up, I was so confused.). Then we should leave her out in the snow with now scarf while we go inside and laugh our heads off at Fargo. I love that movie.

FabuLeslie said...

oops. That should say, "leave her out in the snow with no scarf..." ok. Time for bed or my first graders will not learn a thing tomorrow!

Her said...

Send it to Boston. I moved here to get out of the Texan heat, but I already feel like a furnace! Who knew Utah was the place for people like me?

for a different kind of girl said...

Today I bitched about it being 99 degrees and the fact that we discovered our central air conditioner didn't work when we tried turning it on Saturday afternoon when it was still in the 80s. Yeah, I thought I had it bad, but clearly, I think you win this round.

Riot Kitty said...

Yikes. We've had no spring this year, but no snow for a couple of months.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Holy freakin' crap.

Jules said...

Ok. That BETTER stay in Utah.... It's like 86 degrees here.....

G said...

Okay, that is seriously depressing. Major quantities of snow in the middle of May is simply not right.

Kelly said...

I almost think I might have traded you...it was so hot and humid here today, I thought we were going to die. Skip spring, full on summer.

rockygrace said...

You poor thing - I can't even imagine having to deal with snow right now. Yuck.

Waiting Lisa said...

Wow. That's crazy.

I wish it was snowing here. I would take snow over 85 anyday. But, I know that's just me.

Michelle @ Flying Giggles said...

That is just crazy! It is much cooler here too than usual. So much for global warning. I am shocked that it snowed in our local mountains last weekend. Snow in California in May, who would have thought?

melistress.com said...

We are in full blown monsoon season...about a week after our spring blizzard. The catch? I am in Saskatchewan where rain is almost atypical.

LL Cool Joe said...

Bloody hell, that makes the UK look good! We've had some scorching hot sunshine!

Sorry, but it's not often a Brit can be smug about the weather!!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Late May and you got that much snow! OMG! Mother Nature must be really pissed off at something.

Hang in there. I hope it melts fast and worms up by, dare I say, the weekend....

Cheers,
jj

Rob said...

Holy shit ...

just making my way said...

She is a tricky wench, that Mother Nature! But you didn't hear it from me - I've had enough of her shenanigans myself this year.

That totally sucks, dude.

Sam said...

I know you're actually making a point and all, but I'm going to skip over that and say...

I just LERVE the writing here. Beautiful. :)

Sprite's Keeper said...

We hit a solid 99 on Saturday at 3pm in SW FLorida. On days like those, I would gladly fall for one of those pranks.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock said...

Sometimes I want to punch Mother Nature in the nads.

Kim said...

I had never heard of Cheley Wright until she said she was gay. Now if only Kenny Chesney would come out I might start listening to country.