Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Don't Make Me Shop

I am in desperate need of new clothes. It has gotten to the point where every piece of clothing I pull out of closet is either has some sort of baby related stain, looks slightly lacy from the large number of small holes and tears, or was last fashionable in 2002 -- and it was likely only fashionable then because it was retro. Add to all these problems the fact I have lost 17 pounds, so all my fat pants are now falling off, and my skinny pants are still too tight, and I think you can understand why I wish I could wave a magic wand and totally revamp my wardrobe. After all, really, that's the only way it is going to happen.

It isn't that we don't have the money. I mean, we don't; my debit card laughs when I run it though the reader at the store, and our last bank statement didn't have numbers on it, but instead just said "broke as a joke." However, it is not finances that is keeping me from getting new clothes, but rather my abject fear of buying them.

Friends, I have no idea how to shop.

I have no idea what to look for on the rack. I hate trying things on. I don't know how things are supposed to fit. Also, I despise dressing room mirrors, and usually am so upset with the crazy static in my hair that only occurs in clothing stores that I don't even look at the clothes. Oh, and I always think I am spending too much money. I can spend like crazy on Meg, or on Ryan, or on gifts, but when it comes to me I worry 20 bucks is too much for a shirt or a pair of pants. I figure I am too hard on clothes to really spend more.

I've tried online shopping, thinking it would take the whole "store fear" out of the equation, only to wind up with dozens of pieces of clothing that either are not the color I thought, the size I thought, or had some weird applique I couldn't see in the pictures. I should have returned them, but I am not only bad at shopping, but really lazy.

I'm not really good about shopping with other people either. Multiple friends and family members have tried to take me out and make me over. Some of them still talk to me, but none of them will go shopping with me again. In most cases I refused to buy anything, finding varying reasons things weren't right, or refusing to try anything on because of the whole hair static thing. In the few cases where I did buy something I wore it once or twice, and then consigned it to the rack of misfit clothes -- items that lost their shine once the peer pressure was off.

Life would be so much easier if we were all nudists. Wait, no it wouldn't. Where would I put my keys? And, oh, SNAP, I share a chair at work. Yeah, nudism is out.

Well, maybe gypsy skirts with carrot stains will be the next big thing.

I can only hope.

24 comments:

SRR said...

You need to find a uniform. Form my husband it is currently khaki pants and t-shirts. For dress-up a polo shirt. He has found out what fits him online and will order more when his current ones wear out. Stores stress him out, so ordering online has worked great for him.

If you order from Lands End you can return it to Sears, no shipping charge (assuming you have a Sears). Why don't you go to the outlet portion of Lands End online, order a bunch of different options, try them on in the comfort of your own home, and return those that don't fit.

Then anytime you need more, just order them.

You won't be a fashion plate, but it sounds like that isn't a priority anyway.

Susan

Riot Kitty said...

I hate shopping, can rarely find clothes that fit (the bra rant was just the beginning), and am equally hard on my stuff - totally sympathize with you.

Tara said...

Awww! Poor Libby. You just have to keep it simple. Buy certain items that you can mix and match with everything like cardigans, a black blazer, and a nice pair of jeans. Then just buy a bunch of shirts and dresses. You'll be stain-less in no time. =)

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Oddly enough, I love to shop.

ShaLyse Walker said...

The comment about how your clothes are "lacy" made me laugh so hard.
Libby, I am an answer to your blog prayers. Women and childrens half yearly sale starts at nordstrom tomorrow. I work upstairs. Come in!

Dual Mom said...

You need a personal shopper. Or gypsy skirts with carrot stains works too.

kendall said...

Dual Mom is right--a personal shopper brings things to your home so you can try them on in the comfort of your own bedroom. Thus, no hair static thing and you can try the new things with the things you already own to see if they fit in. Whatever you don't want, the personal shopper takes back for you which totally solves your laziness problem. The personal shopper will provide unbiased advice as well, which doesn't have all the baggage attached to it that advice from family or friends does. A personal shopper will charge for her services but in your situation it sounds totally worth it!

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Hey, congrats on the weight loss! You definitely need to treat yourself to something new. Just limit yourself to a store or 2 and bring someone whose judgment you trust. Come on, show it off a little!

Kelly said...

Carrot stains are cool. You are just a trend setter!

Aunt Juicebox said...

I like SRR's uniform idea. It's similar to what I do myself. Only, I wear jeans and t-shirts, and then I have a selection of tops for when I need something nicer, and a pair or two of black pants. I've actually been considering buying some skirts, I just can't find any I like. lol Which may be why I stick to jeans. I've lost some weight too and my clothes are falling off me because I'm in between sizes. I refuse to fill in the gap though because hopefully I won't be in this size that long.

Sam said...

This is kind of weird, but if you bring a baggie of dryer sheets in your purse, you can run one over your hair as you enter the dressing room, and your hair won't get static-y. I mean, you'll smell like laundry all day, but it might be a good trade-off. :)

Summer said...

I wish you were closer. I would make you go shopping with me. I love to shop. Just ask my bank account or my husband. He's caught onto the "This old thing? I bought it last year!" routine.

JenS said...

Oh I soooo relate!!! I have maybe 3 pairs of pants I rotate, 4 shirts and a couple of blazers and 1 skirt. I cannot emphasize my hatred of shopping enough. The one friend I can tolerate shopping with (because she dresses me better than I do) usually breaks down after seeing me in a shirt I've got pinned together or has toddler mustard stains on it and drags me against my will to a store and makes me stay there until she finds 2 outfits for me to buy...that's how I managed to get the massive wardrobe I described above. Ordering online or from catalog, pfft - I never remember to send it all back when I hate it. @Dual Mom - I like the personal shopper idea, but sounds expensive... and doesn't that bring the pain of shopping to your home? Congrats on weight loss. If you find a shopping solution, post it.

Little Girl Big Glasses said...

Dude. 17 pounds? You kick ass! I hate shopping too. Hate. It. I am currently wearing the levi's my 12 y/o grew out of (with a clever french cuff b/c I'm that fashionable) and my birks from college. Oh, and a tshirt with an applique on it that I didn't know was there when I bought it from steepandcheap.com

LL Cool Joe said...

Ha I love to shop! But that's only because I know just what I want and it hasn't really varied for several year.

I was going to do a Wardrobe Wednesday, and now you've inspired me to do it.

Buying stuff on-line is a risk I agree. I bought most of my caps on-line because I can't get them in the shops but more often or not they don't fit, or look the wrong colour. That's probably why I've ended up with so many.

Kim said...

Sometimes you just make it too easy, Mitchell....

Seriously, you take all the fun out of mocking you when you lay it out like this.

BugginWord said...

So come to NYC and we'll set you up with a personal shopper at Macy's. It doesn't cost you a cent. In fact, you usually get a discount. You just call them, tell them your body type and size, talk about what clothes you need and in what price range. Then you show up at an appointed time with your own private dressing room filled with clothes in your size. HEAVEN.

Amanda said...

I also hate shopping, but mostly because I can't stand spending more than $10 on any one piece of clothing. I like shopping clearance at Kohls because it's so cheap. Maternity clothes are gonna be a bitch....they are so expensive and I'm NOT spending money on something that I'll wear for 5 months and never again.

mylittlebecky said...

ugh. shopping. ugh. i got nothing for helping. i shop at target because real stores give me hives.

FabuLeslie said...

Ha! I can relate to most everything in this post, so I will pick one to talk about. or two. My pants are falling off, and they are my old navy capris of which I have 4 pairs in 3 colors. That's how I shop. Uniform-style, like SRR mentioned.

Also, I am so excited that one of my friends is coming Saturday morning to help me purge my clothes that I don't need anymore, and start working toward a new wardrobe! Your post helped my excitement factor go up even more. Treat yourself to some new clothes, lady! You deserve it!!

She Said said...

I hate shopping for clothes too, but I absolutely love the thrill of the hunt. That's why 90% of what I own comes from thrift stores and garage sales.

Yeah, I'm that lady.

Oh, by the way, I think I found your 17 pounds in Beijing. Ugh.

just making my way said...

I do like to shop - but I totally do the "I can't spend this much on one item" thing. Kind of takes the fun out of it.
My motto usually is - if you find something you actually like, buy it in several colors. Then at least you know you have something that works!

Barring that - I'm sure gypsy skirts will come back in style at some point.

for a different kind of girl said...

I, too, loath shopping. I think something looks good, and then a few weeks later, I'll catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or window and a small scream may or may not escape my lips. Horrific. You know those people who get bent out of shape and resist the change when they get pulled out for makeover shows? Wouldn't be me. If my friends turned me in for "What Not To Wear," I'd step out of my tennis shoes and bend down to kiss their feet in thanks.

melistress.com said...

I know you said that you tried online shopping but have you been to www.myshape.com??? They take your measurements and create a closet of clothes for you that would suit your shape. I think it is a really neat idea and I have heard good things about them.

Congrats on the 17 lbs lost!!!! That is awesome. If only I could do that.