Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Slow Your Roll, Joe

Dear Vice President Biden,

I can't tell you how glad I am that you are Vice President. I know, that might come as a shock that someone feels that way after your "fucking big deal" gaffe today, but it's true. You see, I read somewhere that during the campaign Obama gave you the choice of either being his running mate, or being Secretary of State. I think we can both agree it has been much safer having you behind a desk for the last 14 months. Otherwise, I think we can agree, foreign relations would be a fucking disaster.

Take for example the current situation in the middle east. Now, I am not saying this definitely would have happened, but I can easily picture you calling Netenyahu a dick after the announcement that Israel plans to build new homes in east Jerusalem. I can also picture you calling Ahmadinejad a damn loon. I am not saying that either characterization would have been improper, I'm just saying that they wouldn't have been helpful.

Your "aw shucks" train riding folksiness is just right for the VP slot. You let people know the White House isn't just about eggheads, it's about people who aren't sure when the television was invented. It's not just about crafting ground breaking policy, but also about gloating inappropriately in front of an open mic. Also, it's about knowing when to make the perfect gaffes, so the Republican hate machine pundits focus on pounding you for a little while, and leave Obama alone on possibly the most important day of his Presidency.

Yes, Joe, I am glad you are the Vice President. I will proudly buy and wear this t-shirt in your honor.


Best fucking wishes,

Libby

16 comments:

China said...

That's great! Very funny.

erin said...

I like him too. He seems like a cool dude.

I wonder what Obama was thinking when he said that in his ear...

"This dude is fucking hilarious."

"Why the fuck can't this guy just calm down?"

"Yes, Joe. I am also excited."

Riot Kitty said...

Seriously! I thought *I* had a potty mouth, but I keep a lid on it in work situations...

Jules said...

Dude, he just called it like he saw it......

And really, if you fucking have a potty mouth, that shit is HARD to control... BELIEVE ME!

Kelly said...

I'd buy the shirt, too. Sometimes if you have a potty mouth, stuff just slips out sometimes...I accidentally told someone not to get shitty with me last week at work, on the phone, and that started a whole big fiasco. You would have thought I told them to fuck off.

Rob said...

Fucking "A" ...

Waiting Lisa said...

Well, he is right. It is a pretty big fucking deal. :)

Summer said...

I channel Joe on a daily basis. I love him, but he would have definitely fucked up foreign relations. BTW I'm buying the tee shirt. :)

kendall said...

Am I allowed to wear one of those shirts even though I'm Canadian?

And, congratulations America on your big fucking deal :)

Aunt Juicebox said...

If I was VP, I'd be dropping the F bomb like every 5 minutes. You know I would.

She Said said...

I am SO fucking excited to get that t-shirt and wear it! Fuck yeah!

Oh, and thanks for the fucking laugh, Libby. You are really fucking great at providing them.

Chelle said...

Two things. Well three.

1. My daughter is named Libby, so bonus points.

2. Your daughter is incredibly beautiful. You know that, but hey.

3. Thanks for the sub, eh?.

K four:

4. Good post.

Sarah said...

It is a fucking big deal. My very proper godmother was in her early 80s when she said, "I just love the F word. I don't like it so much as a verb or a noun ... but it makes a fucking wonderful adjective."

Kim said...

The VP is like the bridesmaid of the White House. I think he's supposed to look ridiculous and act drunk at the celebration.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

I *LOVE* this. Perfect.

Ellie

Gina said...

Must! Have! Shirt!