We all have heard the saying about the dark cloud having a silver lining. We all have figured out that saying is pretty much bullshit. That's why after my accident yesterday I was expecting to spend at least 450 dollars on my stupid mistake. I didn't count on a silver lining named Frank.
Frank is a chain smoking Albanian immigrant slight shorter than I am (I'm 5'0"). He chain smokes, has trash in his office since the mid 1980's -- including multiple copies of a promotional calendar he had made in 1995, and calls everyone either "Sir," Ma'am," or "Sweetie." Oh, and in less than 24 hours he fixed my car, and only charged me 65 dollars. I think I'm in love.
I was fully expecting to get screwed, at least a little, when getting my car fixed. I mean, you go to Costco, you get free samples; you get your car fixed, you get screwed. My first meeting with Frank didn't really change my opinion. He cooed over Meg's cuteness, but really, that's like saying the Mona Lisa is a nice painting. He said he could get the part -- if it was in stock. When I asked how much it would cost he said "under 50-thousand dollars" and laughed. Then he called me "Dear." I got my punching hand ready.
When he called me 45 minutes later and told me he had the part, I started thinking 50-thousand may have been an underestimate. When he said I could bring it in any time, I started thinking about taking out loans. However, I figured I had already come this far, so I might as well go forward. When I dropped off the car this afternoon, I asked one more time how much it would cost. "About 60 bucks, unless you want to pay me more, Sweetie" he responded. I figured he was joking again.
I took Ryan with me when we picked op the car, just in case I needed back up but I said I wanted to go in first. Frank was sitting there, his cigarette dangling over a Pepsi can ashtray. He called me "Honey." I curled my fist. He printed out my bill. I clenched harder. "Oh, I made a mistake here," he said, looking at the bill. I saw the number -- seventy five dollars. "I told you sixty, Dear" he said, and crossed out the number writing the new one in.
I told you, I love him.
Oh, if you want to love Frank too (yeah, that sounds bad, I know), just check out Empire Body and Paint in Salt Lake. Tell him Sweetie sent you.