Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Frank: My Silver Lining

We all have heard the saying about the dark cloud having a silver lining. We all have figured out that saying is pretty much bullshit. That's why after my accident yesterday I was expecting to spend at least 450 dollars on my stupid mistake. I didn't count on a silver lining named Frank.

Frank is a chain smoking Albanian immigrant slight shorter than I am (I'm 5'0"). He chain smokes, has trash in his office since the mid 1980's -- including multiple copies of a promotional calendar he had made in 1995, and calls everyone either "Sir," Ma'am," or "Sweetie." Oh, and in less than 24 hours he fixed my car, and only charged me 65 dollars. I think I'm in love.

I was fully expecting to get screwed, at least a little, when getting my car fixed. I mean, you go to Costco, you get free samples; you get your car fixed, you get screwed. My first meeting with Frank didn't really change my opinion. He cooed over Meg's cuteness, but really, that's like saying the Mona Lisa is a nice painting. He said he could get the part -- if it was in stock. When I asked how much it would cost he said "under 50-thousand dollars" and laughed. Then he called me "Dear." I got my punching hand ready.

When he called me 45 minutes later and told me he had the part, I started thinking 50-thousand may have been an underestimate. When he said I could bring it in any time, I started thinking about taking out loans. However, I figured I had already come this far, so I might as well go forward. When I dropped off the car this afternoon, I asked one more time how much it would cost. "About 60 bucks, unless you want to pay me more, Sweetie" he responded. I figured he was joking again.

I took Ryan with me when we picked op the car, just in case I needed back up but I said I wanted to go in first. Frank was sitting there, his cigarette dangling over a Pepsi can ashtray. He called me "Honey." I curled my fist. He printed out my bill. I clenched harder. "Oh, I made a mistake here," he said, looking at the bill. I saw the number -- seventy five dollars. "I told you sixty, Dear" he said, and crossed out the number writing the new one in.

I told you, I love him.

Oh, if you want to love Frank too (yeah, that sounds bad, I know), just check out Empire Body and Paint in Salt Lake. Tell him Sweetie sent you.

21 comments:

Kim said...

$60?????? Was the "part" some duct tape?

Riot Kitty said...

Excellent! I want to meet him. And I'm happy that I know someone shorter than me!

ShaLyse Walker said...

Yes! I need my number fixed so bad. I may have to steal frank ( was that his name) away.

Dr. Monkey said...

There's no amount of mechanic love to get me to go to Utah.

She Said said...

That's interesting. I didn't know my dad moved to Utah. Hmmmmph...

Kelly said...

I have this "uncle" who always hooks me up when it comes to cars. Uncle Dan, had bailed me out since I started driving, and now is bailing Mackenzie out with cheap fixes...it's always good to have one of these guys in your corner.

Dual Mom said...

Wow you're short! Oops I mean vertically challenged?

I'm so glad you didn't have to pay 50 thousand dollars to get your car fixed.

Summer said...

Hold Frank near and dear to your heart, because you probably won't find another like him. Don't you just love when you walk into a mechanic shop with the instant feeling a financial rape is about to take place.

I can remember when I was in high school, and I went in to get my oil changed. The mechanic started taking shit off my car saying this needed to be replaced and that needed to be replaced. I had went in for a damn oil change, and this idiot was replacing mufflers and whatnot. The bill was (of course) going to my dad. I hadn't mentioned that to the mechanic beforehand. So I called my dad to let him know what was going on. After handing the phone to the mechanic, I could hear my father screaming at the dude and he informed him that anything that had been replaced on my car, he'd just done it for f***ing free. Mechanic was singing an entirely different tune. Shady bastard.

Melistress said...

My religion doesn't allow me to believe in mythical creatures like Frank. I call foul!

Seriously, $ 60? Up here it would cost that just for one minute of labour alone.

Amanda said...

Wow, that is so cool!! Where is his shop?

WA said...

Sorry to hear you had an accident. But happy to know that men like Frank walk among us.

Sam said...

I am also in love with Frank. And this story. And the way you told it.

erin said...

I have a 'Frank' too who sounds just like that! Except he calls me a variety of names (Pudding is my fave, cause it's my mom's nickname) and he's of some kind of Italian descent, methinks.

G said...

Nice....we got a mechanic that our family has been using for the past thirty odd years, and always, always, always, can get a good deal on repairs, or even pay my bill on a weekly basis if the need arises.

You're less than 5'? Wow, and I thought my wife short. :D

BugginWord said...

Did you scream "and beans!" every time he said his name? I'm pretty sure I would. Yes, I'm 12.

Waiting Lisa said...

Today we paid $30 just for an oil change. $60 is amazing.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Way to go Frank!

Scribe said...

I love Frank too, but hate the fact that he's in Utah. Can he move to Canada and work on my car for $60? I recently had my brakes done, an oxygen sensor replaced as well as the flexible hose that connects something to something... Frank could save me a lot of pennies!

Aunt Juicebox said...

Hopefully you are feeling a little better about the whole thing now.

Sarah said...

SWEET! One of the first times I used our mechanic, he called to tell me there would be no charge. It was a loose wheel, not a blown engine rod, like I thought, causing the knocking noise. He said "no charge," and I said, "Are you hitting on me?" Long pause. "What?" he said. "Because I could TOTALLY kiss you right now!" I told him. He laughed. I think I scared him a little at first, but he's a great guy.

msprimadonna67 said...

Wow--way to go Frank! Frank, apparently, is never the guy who fixed my car. No matter what is wrong with the car, it always cost $400. Go figure.