Making a Name for Myself

Over the weekend I managed to slip away from the baby to see the movie "Julie and Julia." It's a great film based on the book that launched a thousand blogs. Yes, before Julie Powell plopped herself down at her computer and began cooking her way through Julia Child's cookbook no one really thought a blog could launch someone into stardom. Now, anyone who has ever wanted to write a book, but doesn't have the wherewithal to do it, the people Fran Lebowitz once said should "eat something sweet" to suppress their creative instincts, have flocked to the web to launch a blog in the hopes of being plucked from obscurity, just like Julie Powell. They may not admit it (I don't normally), but it's true.

Julie Powell had something a lot of bloggers, myself included, do not have though. She had a gimmick, and an expiration date. Her readers knew she wouldn't just be rambling on endlessly about her cats, or her baby, or her dog like some of us. They also knew there was a good chance she would fail, so they had the whole "I could be there to watch the car crash" thing to draw them in.

I have been doing this blog now for almost three years, and am approaching five hundred posts, most of which are of the rambling variety. And so, I have decided to step it up a notch. I am going Julie Powell on your asses. I am going to find a gimmick. I just need to decide which one....

Five Blog Gimmicks That Will Draw in Readers and Launch me to Super Stardom

1. The Bob Ross Project Copying Powell almost completely, I will pick a PBS celebrity, Bob Ross of the "Joy of Painting," and attempt to do all of the paintings in his 10 hour instructional DVD set. This will be especially interesting since I can't draw a stick figure. I may, or may not try to grow my hair into a Bob Ross afro as part of the project, I haven't decided yet.

This could be me...

2. The Slowly Killing Myself Project I will take something people love, and prove how horrible it is for them by grossly overusing it. I will also do possibly irrevocable harm to myself while doing it. Oh, and I will document every step of my journey with pictures and videos to show just how devoted, and freakish, I am. I was thinking of eating nothing but fast food, but that's been done. Now I am looking at drinking nothing but wine, or listening to nothing but conservative talk radio and following every directive given. Actually, if I listen to that much talk radio I may need a lot of wine, so I might combine the two.

3. The Downsizing Project Little by little I will get rid of everything I own, until I am down to nothing, living in a one room shack like Thoreau. Along the way I will rage against capitalism, while also talking piously about how much my life sucks, but how it is so worth it. Readers can also check in to see the possible dissolution of my marriage, since I will give away Ryan's stuff too.

4. The Protest Project I will find an esoteric cause and devote myself to it fully. Maybe it could be something like "give me back all of my stuff" after I go through with number 3. Whatever it is, I will be militant about it, and chain myself to something at least once a week.

5. The Tony Curtis Project Since I was 14 years old I have been in love with Tony Curtis. No, I am not kidding. I think the highpoint of my life would be if Tony could play a major role in a big life event. Since it's too late for him to walk me down the aisle, at least for this marriage, I think his attendance at Meg's first birthday would be the next best thing. So, for the next 10 months I could work furiously to secure Mr. Curtis' attendance at the party, by any means necessary, restraining orders be dammed. I will have to put ads on the site if I decide to do this one though, since I will likely need bail money.

I heart him...

Oh my. The possibilities are endless. I think I just need to decide if readers would be more interested in me ruining my own life and reputation, or that of a celebrity... What would Julie Powell do?

Thoughts?