Dear Friends,
By the time you read this, I will be back at work.
I would like to say I am in a better place, but I am not. Sure, I love my job, like or tolerate most of my co-workers, and am rarely beaten for insolent behavior, but all of that doesn't matter, because Meg will not be with me. Instead of my day being filled with naps, and baby coos, it will be filled with problem solving and problem making. Instead of warming bottles and wearing sweatpants I will be writing scripts and wearing (gasp) real clothes. Sure, I will still be dealing with shit, and some crying, but it won't be as cute. If only I could give a reporter or an editor a pacifier to make everything better. However, I think doing that would just lead to a meeting with HR.
And poor Meg. Today, for the first time, she won't be spending the morning with her Mother or Father. Yeah, she'll be with her grandmother for most of the time, but she also has to go to daycare -- for two whole hours. The woman caring her is so wonderful she kind of makes Mary Poppins look like a crack whore, but still, she isn't me. I just hope my sweet girl can nap through most of it so that she isn't too scarred later on in life.
Oh friends, if only something could be done to return me to my blissful days of lolling in bed with my daughter, not washing my hair, and having no more knowledge of current events that the average American. Of course, I would also like to be able to pay the light bill, have health insurance, and eventually send Meg to college.
If only I had enough plasma in my body to make my money that way. Or, if Sally were had any other talent other than eating electronics. Or, if the federal government actually mandated paid family leave, even in cases of adoption. Oh, or if I owned a unicorn that pooped gold. Or, maybe I could make money with my blog...
Sigh.
I think the unicorn is the most realistic option.
Somebody better have brought doughnuts to welcome me back.
Don't cry for me,
Libby
Monday, September 14, 2009
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9 comments:
It's really hard to go back to work, no doubt. But amazingly, you'll still get to spend lots of time with your wonderful daughter.
It's hard to stay at home sometimes too. I feel guilty that I'm not bringing in more money for extra things. We save, but not all that much...we don't have two cars right now...
It's hard to make either decision. I used to make so much more money doing custom orders than I do now...it makes you so sad to think we HAVE to make this decision at some point. I wish we could all live in some sort of divine utopia and lay around, read books, play catch and trains, build puzzles, color with giant thick markers, cuddle on the couch...
Good luck today. As a working mom, I know the feeling. Did you ever think anyone would come into your life that would make you feel this way about leaving home?
It will get a bit easier, I promise. and you aren't scarring her. You love her.
Thinking of you
It's never easy. Even now that Lauren is almost 8 and does most everything for herself, I find myself at work missing her and wishing I could be home with her. But we do what we have to do, and somehow, it all works out. Good luck today!
good luck on your first day back! the things we do for our kids... sweatpants + work would be such an amazing compromise that i bet if you could sell just one boss on it, you'd make bags of money :)
It will probably mostly suck, and I'm sure Meg will miss you terribly - but it's just something we have to do sometimes. Let me know if you get a lead on that unicorn thing.
I say you put Meg in your backpack. I'm sure nobody will notice.....
I can totally relate, and it sucks! I'd like to say it gets better, but I don't think it does..it just becomes more tolerable...and it helps when you love your job!
At least you don't have purple-striped hair, as I do.
You should really work on the unicorn idea.....or go the easy route and get Meg into child modeling.
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