Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Movie Mama

Since I am, for the next four weeks, lady of leisure, I am doing what I think ladies of leisure do. I am not talking about the diaper changing, or the wearing nothing but sweatpants and oversize t-shirts, although I am sure that some of the really, really cool ladies of leisure are do those things. I also am not talking about drinking early in the day, since I am a lady of leisure who would like to keep custody of my daughter. No, I am talking about that time honored lady of leisure tradition of the mid-day movie.

Now, I know that most leisure ladies put on fancy gloves and go to the cinema, but they aren't attached to an eight pound one ounce eating machine, which puts a definite damper on that plan. So, instead of heading to the Bijou or the Avalon, I am utilizing Redbox and Netflix to get my film fix. I had no idea how many films I hadn't seen. I had seen their trailers, and thought I wanted to see them, but never gotten around to it. I had thought about renting them, and in a few cases had, but never gotten around to watching them, because something non-leisurely always came up. Of course, now I have at least three hours a day when I am being used as a mattress, so I have time to indulge. No, they may not be consecutive hours, but that is what the pause button it for.

Today's movie was "He's Just Not That Into You." Yeah. It should have been called "All People Are Shitheads And It is Amazing the Human Race Has Not Died Out Yet." I didn't like, or sympathize with, any of the characters (except maybe the pathetic girl), and the only thing I got out of it is the extreme satisfaction that I am not dating in the Facebook age. It also made me never want Meg to date -- at least not until I am dead. I don't know what I was expecting though. The movie was based on a book by a guy who looks like a porcupine mated with a douchecake.

Oh, well, never mind. Luckily, that is not the only time I will have for a movie before September 14th. Does anyone have any suggestions? Just remember it has to be a movie appropriate to discuss over cucumber sandwiches with my other leisurely friends. I mean, if I happen to bump into any of them. In my living room. At 9am. Wearing sweatpants.

Oh, and nothing with Lindsey Lohan. I don't want to scare Meg.


Amanda said...

Sunshine Cleaners!!

Yellow Trash Diaries said...

Wait until Meg is mobile-- all your spare time will be relegated to disaster cleanup. Most of the movies I watch are animated, or Jason's pick (his requirement: that there be a gratuitous* breast shot or someone gets blown up at fairly regular intervals).
* Is that how you spell gratuitous? Without spellcheck I am exposed as a mere mortal.

*Akilah Sakai* said...

I have that same film sitting in a Blockbuster.com envelope. Is is that bad?

My suggestion would be the new release section. You'll probably recognize a lot of the titles straight way. Read the descriptions and if it interests you, watch it. Worst case scenario, a horrible film will make for hilarious blog fodder when you tell us all about it. Plus, you could always hit eject and move on to the next flick.

erin said...

Oh! I love bad, horrible, violent flicks though? Is that not going to cut it?

Hmm...do you have instant movies to your t.v.? That's the best thing ever from netflix. We watch a movie tonight.

Ok, here we go. Constantine, The Ninth Gate, The Descent, Children of Men, Pan's Labyrinth (my favorite movie ever), The Orphanage, Let the Right One In, Immortal Beloved, Shiver, My Neighbor Totoro(for Meg...Max loved it from the time she was a little baby till now), Serenity, Slapshot, Nightwatch/DayWatch...
There's so many more!

Anonymous said...

Time Crimes. It is foreign and it is awesome. Also, I second Let The Right One In. Very cool.

Badass Geek said...

"He's Just Not That Into You" is a huge trap of a movie.

No guy should ever see it. Doom would be imminent.

Mr. Glob said...

Coraline was really good I thought, as well as the curious case of benjamin button.

Rassles said...

Dude. "He's Just" fucking whatever is probably one of the worst movies I've eve seen in my entire live.

My new favorite movie is Son of Rambow. I mean, it's not new, and everyone's probably already seen it. But I loved it.