Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Babies Are The Answer

Having a baby is awesome. You would not believe how much stuff I can get away with now. I can be late, look horrible, not return phone calls or emails, and mumble incoherently, but no one cares as long as I blame it on the baby. The baby was up all night. The baby has so much stuff it is difficult to get out of the house on time. The baby wanted to go for hot wings and beers. As long as I start my excuse with the words "the baby" no one listens to the rest of the sentence, and if I actually have Meg with me I don't even need to start talking.

Meg is more than just a permanent excuse though., she is also the perfect gift for the person who has everything. No, I am not giving my baby away, then I wouldn't be able to use her as an excuse any more. Rather, I am giving away adorable pictures of her away. I mean, no one is going to say they don't love a picture of this beautiful girl. Relatives? Friends? Ryan? All are getting Meg related gifts. And thanks to Kodak Gallery when I am done with pictures I can move on to Meg key chains, Meg mouse pads, Meg puzzles, and Meg t-shirts -- all of which will have to be updated as Meg gets bigger and changes more. I will never have to set foot in a mall again thanks to this kid. Maybe I'll get her a fleece throw with her face on it to say thank you.

Meg could also be the answer to all of our money worries for the rest of our lives. Well, not just Meg, but babies in general. You see, I think I have found a way to harness their cuteness for my monetary gain. One word: Babycam. Picture it, a web site where people can go day or night, and gaze on adorable babies. No crying babies, no angry babies, just cute, cuddly, smiley babies. I know brilliant. Really, I think the only thing I need to decide is whether or not to make this a subscription site, or if it will make enough money with ads alone. Those LOL cats better watch their backs.

Okay, I gotta go. I would write a better wrap up to this post, but the baby needs me. I'm sure you understand.

Awesome.

12 comments:

*Akilah Sakai* said...

You've been bab-i-fied!

Did you notice some stores have parking for parents?

Shannon said...

I've been late for the past 6 years and never a day before (BABIES... I don't think anyone is believing the excuse anymore now that mine are 4 and 6)!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock said...

No more blaming it on the dog!

Susan said...

If you have Meg with you, you don't even have to get dressed in the morning. No one will see you anyway.

Jules said...

God, that is soooo true. I'm not accepting that crap anymore from my friends. Thanks for pointing it out!!

Sam said...

So true! Better not let her grow up, though--people started frowning and shaking their heads when I started excuses with the "The baby..." once she turned three.

Yellow Trash Diaries said...

So how did you excuse your hair and attire BEFORE Meg's arrival?

LiLu said...

Understand COMPLETELY. :-)

Janine said...

Man, I miss the baby excuse thing. I wonder if I can still get away with it. I have kids. They are still time consuming. They still whine and complain. They still demand things of me. They still keep me up worrying at night.

I do believe motherhood is forever. Don't be afraid. It's ok, we've all lived through it. So far.

erin said...

Elijah's going to be 2 at the end of Sept. and I'm freaking out. It will be the first time in 9 years that I won't be pregnant or nursing.
No more baby related excuses. I'll have to stay up later, party a little bit more, maybe even get my hair cut or colored....torture. Pure torture.

The Politic's Chick said...

I have been flipping thru your blogs on Meg and I'm just loving the sentiments.

Thanks for dropping by at the Politics too!

Katie said...

lol..this post cracks me up :) I'm a new reader, and not a mom quite yet..but I can totally understand how this is!

xo
k