Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Hangin' Tough

Many people have commented that motherhood is making me soft. Last night a woman from work came by to see Meg and said "You know, everyone who has seen you since the birth has said you've gone soft. I think they're right." I know she probably meant it as a compliment, but I still had to punch her in the throat. Tara told me that I might have to go back and recant previous posts because my attitude has changed so much. Again, another throat punch. Even my own husband has even jumped on the bandwagon, telling me that I keep posting about Meg I am going to have to change the name of the blog from "Libby Logic" to "Libby Lame." I didn't punch him in the throat. That would be too obvious. I want him to live in fear for a while.

I just can't help myself. Meg must be made of Prozac or something, because she just takes all the stress out of my body. I can't help but smile, and laugh, and make up stupid songs in her presence. I find it amazing how quickly time passes when I am with her, and how I can just spend hours looking at her face. This morning she looked at me, and I think really saw me for the first time, and I just melted. However, just because I am sweet around Meg doesn't mean there has been a tectonic shift in my soul, and that all of the bastards will be getting a free pass from now on. That's why I was almost happy when Ryan got a parking ticket yesterday morning. Better yet, it was an undeserved parking ticket. So, this morning, I kissed Meg good-bye, and went to kick some ass.

My number was 72. When I arrived the hearing officer was on 68. I had 4 whole cases to work up my righteous anger. The temporary permit was properly displayed! We are taxpayers! The government is improperly levying fines! Does he know I work for the news media? These statements were just part of my plan. I was considering launching myself across the counter like a spider monkey, but Tara said it would Ryan would be pissed if I got tasered six days after Meg was born.

Finally, number 72 was called. I went to the window, feeling every hair on my body stand up with the thrill of coming conflict. The hearing officer smiled at me. Dick. I plopped the ticket, and the temporary registration, opened my mouth and -- the dick cut me off. "What have we here," he said, "it looks like you may have gotten this ticket improperly." He typed a few keys on the computer, and stared at the screen. I knew what was coming next -- the bureaucratic run around. I girded my loins. "Yep," he said. I tensed. "I can see the tag in the back window on the meter maid's photo. She must have missed it. We'll waive this. Sorry."

I was shocked. Stunned. I had worked up a good head of steam, and now it was all for naught. I picked up the registration, and turned to go, disappointment oozing from my pores. Then, suddenly, I felt joy. I was happy this man had waived my ticket, and so happy about the world that we live in, and happy that Meg is in it. I turned, and now the hearing officer tensed, unaware of what I was going to say.

"Want to see a picture of my daughter?" Luckily, he said yes. Or else it would have gotten really ugly.


Cate said...

You are still soft. If this is your lame attempt at trying to be tough, I am very disappointed in you. Good thing I like that kid of yours or I would have to punch you in the throat.

Anonymous said...

Boy...your cover is going to be blown after all of these years Lib...that you haven't "gone" soft...that you have been a softy all along. Steve and I were just talking about the same subject on the way home. How sweet it is to see the real Lib out all the time now. Now we don't have to watch our backs all the time:) Love you. You are doing a remarkable job as a mom. Like we all thought you would!!! -Jamie

calicobebop said...

Whew! Thank GAWD he said yes! He has no idea how close he was to death! :)

Your lovely daughter is gonna get you out of lots of tickets down the line. I know, because I'm psychic! HA HA!

Yellow Trash Diaries said...

Oh, the hens have come home to roost-- or is it the roosters? Whatever-- anyway, don't fight it. (The force is strong with your little one, I feel.) We will let you know when you are becoming nauseating.

Amanda said...

I will so kick your ass the next time I see you - after I hold Meg, of course.

Anonymous said...

What? He didn't even give you a chance to punch him in the throat? WTH?

Oh well, go hold Meg then.

Badass Geek said...

He probably saw how worked up you had prepared yourself to be, and just cooperated from the start.

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Hell yeah babies make people soft, but it's only temporary. Don't worry, Libby. You'll be butter 24/7 for right now 'cos it's all so new, but soon enough you will have 2 personalities. Mommy and Sybil (but she had like 16 people in her, right?)

I have a split personality, too! No kids around? I'm a beast.

Shannon said...

Really... it's OKAY if motherhood changes you a little bit... it is supposed to! Now you know why us stupid moms always want to talk about our kids - in life and on our blogs... and truly... if nobody ever reads what I have to write - I'm fine with that - because it will help me to remember so many important moments in the lives of my two beautiful children and our lives as a family!
Glad they dropped the ticket!

DC Diva said...

OH LIBBY!!!! I have been off the radar for a week (helping my sister who, too, has waited through many long trials) with her miracle brand new baby. I just caught up (and cried a little) reading your blog.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Of course it is making you soft. It is the most magical, euphoric thing ever. The best part: in so many ways it just gets better every day.

She's beautiful. I'm glad you are surrounded by such support (of course you are). I love that picture of your dad. I love that you are celebrating. I can't wait to meet her when I'm in town next month. We'll have a play date.

I love the mushy side of you. :) Soak this in. Let the time just melt away.

Anonymous said...

The beauty of being a Mom is that you can be soft and mushy with your sweet adorable baby, but the first time a little kid hurts her little feelings or steals a toy away from her, you'll be all Mama Bear and the claws will come out!!