I have a bet with my friend Murphy that has been going on for a decade. It has to do with the movie "Titanic." When it came out, we both decided it was quite possibly the worst movie ever, and that which ever one of us saw it first would have to declare themselves the biggest wuss of all time. It is the only bet I have, and probably ever will, care about winning. Murphy claims he has already won it, and, that my being a girl means I have already been dragged to see it. How wrong he is. See, there is one thing Murphy seems to forget about me: I am not a fan of romantic comedies.
I have not always been this way. In the early 1990's I looooved all things schmaltzy. "When Harry Met Sally" was my favorite movie, and I watched it like a training film. However, in recent years, I don't know if it's me, or the movies that have changed, but now I can't stand them. The heroines all seem so vapid and marriage obsessed. Everyone has to look gorgeous at all times. They all swoon about fashion and shoes, have much bigger apartments than they should, and never seem to go to work. It was charming in 30 minutes of "Sex and the City" every week, but in a two hour movie? Obnoxious. I have avoided all romantic comedies since my sister and I went to see "27 Dresses" this summer. And that was enough for at least two years. Or so I thought...
Last night I was flipping through the channels waiting for Ryan to get home when I happened upon the movie "P.S. I Love You." I won't go into details, but I watched the whole thing, and even teared up at one point. And I wasn't even drunk. Making it even worse? I have ridiculed by Mom for renting this movie, and then liking it so much that she bought it. I am really afraid that on Christmas morning a t-shirt with a picture of Hillary Swank and the words "I LOVED THIS MOVIE" will be waiting for me under the tree.
I woke up this morning just feeling dirty. Not only does the heroine of this movie embarrass herself to the delight of men who find her foibles "adorable," but, the way she finally finds herself? Shoes. She decides to make shoes -- and take feminism back 40 years. And when it happened? I sighed. I think I have to let me armpit hair grow until the new year to make up for it.
But at least I still haven't seen 'Titanic." I'm pretty sure Murphy has though...
I don’t need your sarcasm, cats.
8 hours ago