I Can't Believe I'm Writing This

I feel bad for Sarah Palin.

No, I don't feel bad enough to revise my previous opinions. I still think she is a bigoted, ignorant, hate mongering social climber, who would sell her soul to push the conservative agenda. However, I see now that see is not the worst of the Republican bunch, and that she was likely set up from the beginning to take the very big fall for the GOP. And it really pisses me off.

If you think about it, the Republican party treated her exactly as civilizations of yore would have treated a sacrificial virgin. They plucked her from obscurity, promising her she and her family fame and fortune in exchange for her pretty face. They decorated her, and began treating her like a queen, while at the same time quietly telling people not to get too attached by pointing out her flaws, but more in a "isn't she adorable way" than anything else. And then, at the height of her glory, as her head grew almost big enough to eclipse the sun, McCain lost, and they cut out her heart.

Really, I am shocked at how quickly all of the RNC analysts and pundits have turned on Palin. Carl Castle practically giggled like a seventh grade girl as he lambasted her on FOX News yesterday. Did we all know that she didn't know Africa was a continent? Oh, and didn't know the countries in NAFTA? And did you see her nails? And really, her baby isn't that cute. Well, he didn't say the last two, but it's close enough.

They aren't just stopping at calling her stupid though, they are blaming her for pretty much any mistake they can find. The clothing debacle? All her idea. She made the RNC do it. She came in, tied them up, and took their credit cards. That bully. Oh, and the plan floated by McCain to abandon the debates until after the economic crisis was solved? All her fault. McCain was just actually trying to buy her time because she was so inexperienced. I think they are going to find a way to tie her to the lack of WMDs in Iraq next.

What really makes me mad about this whole Sarah Palin thing though is how the Republicans used cries of sexism to cover up the most sexist plot of them all. During the campaign any legitimate concerns about Palin were written off as "blatant sexism." However, now that they have lost, Republicans are blaming a woman for their downfall, and the two reasons they are using are her intelligence and shopping. I'm surprised no one has mentioned her "horrible PMS" as a reason for the loss.

If I were Sarah Palin I would get my biggest moose hunting gun, climb into a helicopter and head to Washington. Then I would demand they give me Ted Stevens job. That way I could keep an eye on the sneaky bastards. And if they wouldn't give it to me? I would shoot the lot of them, stuff them and hang them all on the wall. Actually, I think I would do that anyway. It would be only fair.