What I Want For Christmas

We are moving into winter, which means things are about cold here in Utah. Damn cold. I am talking the kind of cold that goes all the way down to your bones, and then starts chilling your soul -- if you have one. The cold is especially evident in my house, given that it was built in 1915 and has windows made in that year. They are pretty, and keep put bugs, birds, and neighbors, but they do nothing to stop the cold. Also, we have hard wood and tile floors that get so cold sometimes I am almost convinced I am walking on an ice rink. Luckily though, there is something out there that can keep me from another winter of discontent -- and you can help, dear readers. I need a slanket.

I first saw this wonderful invention while browsing other blogs a few weeks ago. If I could remember where I saw it I would give a shout out, but I can't so instead I'll just beg for one of my own. You see, the slanket is an oversized blanket -- with sleeves. It's like a hug made out of acrylic. And it's only $44.95! If each of you chipped in a dollar you could buy me a slanket, pay for shipping, and have it gift wrapped! What else are you going to do with that dollar? Give it to the homeless? Don't be selfish. All you'll get out of that is a sense of self satisfaction. By buying me a slanket you'll get that -- plus I'll be warm AND fashionable. I don't even care what color, I'll trust you, my dear readers, enough to pick it out for me.

If you think about it, buying me a slanket is good for you too. If I am too cold to raise my hands from underneath my pile of blankets I won't be able to blog! So, there you'll be, in your warmer locations, waiting for your daily dose of Libby Logic, only to find it is on hiatus due to frozen fingers. And those of you who live here in Utah will be even worse off. Without my humor the winter weather will cause your hearts to grow cold and bitter. And we all know there is no slanket for the heart.

So, come on. Slanket me. You know you want to.