Monday, September 8, 2008

Pennywise Panic

Yesterday I went to the state fair with my family, where I proceeded to have a massive panic attack behind a stand that sold fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. There was a lot of information in that sentence, so take a minute to process. I'll wait. Ready? Okay, moving on.

Why, you may ask, was I having this panic attack? Was it the large number of people at the fair, each one more bizarre and Coen brothers-esque than the last? Was it the smell of every manure known to man wafting from the overly hot animal barns? Was it the huge lines of overweight people snaking from the fried food booths? Or the fact that the prices for those foods were closer to fillet Mignon than hot dog on a stick? Well, I think it was a little of all of those things, but really I blame my husband and Steven King.

You see, Saturday night Ryan and I were enjoying one of our favorite pastimes, which involves me watching late night television and him sleeping while insisting he's awake. I was flipping through the channels, and Ryan's eyes just happened to flutter open as I passed the "Chiller" network, which was just beginning a showing of "Stephen King's It." "Stop it here," he said, "this is a really good movie." "It has John Ritter and the guy from 'Night Court'," I replied.
"Yeah, but wait until you see Tim Curry as Pennywise."

For those of you who don't know, Pennywise is the name of a very scary clown that embodies evil in this movie. And Ryan was right, Tim Curry played him perfectly. About 15 minutes into the movie (which I think was actually an '80's mini series) I was totally freaked, but I couldn't stop watching. Occasionally I would stutter "I don't want to watch this any more," and Ryan would change the channel, but then I would change it back once he drifted off to sleep.

Needless to say, I did not sleep well Saturday night. It wasn't so much that I dreamt about a murderous clown, just being aware of a murderous clown. Twice in my dreams I picked up a copy of "It" and remarked that Ryan and I had watched the movie. I think at one point I was talking to Sarah Palin about it, which just makes the dream that much scarier.

By Sunday morning I was totally freaked, and I should have realized that a panic attack was coming on. I had that weird feeling that usually precedes one, which feels like my head has been stuffed with fiberglass, and then wrapped in plastic. Of course, I ignored it, and went to the fair. And what do they have at the fair? Clowns.

And that is how I wound up behind a stand that sold fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches having a panic attack. But I still think Sarah Palin had something to do with it.


Amanda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda said...

Here you go - download & savor this - and forget that Tim Curry was ever a bad man, just a GIGANTIC queen:

I still want to go see the other freakshow at the fair - the one you actually have to pay for.

She Said said...

This was hilarious! My husband hates clowns, so we don't have anything resembling one in or near our house. He's a huge Stephen King fan. Maybe that's why he hates them? Hmmmm....

And I agree, Palin had something to do with it. I'm certain.