Wednesday, May 28, 2008

One Flew Over...

The President of the United States of America just flew over my house.

Well, I guess it really was about a half an hour ago, and he wasn't flying of his own ability, but rather being chauffeured via helicopter. I think I would actually start to like him if he had flown over by himself, with nothing but a big part of homemade wax wings aiding him. Of course, the heat from his ego would probably melt them though and send him plummeting into my fish pond. And I just cleaned that out. Now I even dislike him in my fantasies.

Mr. Bush is on his way to the home of Republican cheerleader Mitt Romney to attend a 70-thousand dollar a couple fund raiser for John McCain -- or as I like to call him -- the second coming of stupidity. Actually, he must be somewhat savvy, because McCain won't appear with the President at tonight's event, and is keeping his distance like Georgie has the plague. That has to make the President feel somewhat bad. I mean, here he is going across the country raising money for a person he probably doesn't even like, taking valuable time away from shooting varmints on his ranch, and the guy won't even take a picture with him. It's the kind of thing that would drive a normal person into therapy. Of course, normal people don't live in a candy coated halcyon dream of a world where giving everyone six hundred dollars will automatically make everything better and make everyone believe a multi-billion dollar war isn't draining the life out of the country. Oooh, that was bitchy. I hope he's not reading this, or having it read to him.

I think that what really pisses me off is that while Bush is out here fleecing the conservative elite our tax dollars are being used to protect him. It pissed me off with Clinton too, and I'm sure it will piss me off with Obama. If the RNC or the DNC wants so badly to have their star come to an event, they should foot the bill. I mean, have you seen how much gas it takes to power a helicopter? At $3.80 a gallon that's got to add up.

Honestly though, he couldn't have planned this visit better if he tried. On the day that a scathing book about the White House penned by his former Press Secretary hits shelves, he is safely tucked away in the reddest state in the nation. A state so patriotic that even the Democrats stand outside with their four year old nephews looking to the skies and waving at his passing helicopter while sucking on popsicles. I was going to quickly make a giant sign reading "stop the war," but my hands were sticky. I like to think I waved in a way that expressed my resentment. Of course, with my luck tonight he'll tell the story of "the little boy and the woman waving as I flew by," and raise millions in additional funds that will help in the Republican death march to a third White House term.

If that happens he definitely owes me a ride.


gretchen said...

don't feel bad... I dragged my 4 yr old daughter down to the end of my street to wave at Pres. Sr. cuckoo when he buzzed up 4th South in his taxpayer funded super armored limo (one of two transported to the state mind you) on his way to some equally ridiculous fund raiser... aren't we few Utah democrats something to be proud of? good times... Damn I miss Utah! (are you allowed to say that there yet?)

L@pterces said...

Can you believe they fly those helicopters (five of them!) into the state inside bigger airplanes? Not to mention the 35-vehicle motorcade which is flown in as well. Oh, and the they're getting ready to replace 'Air Force One' with an even-bigger (foreign made) Airbus A380. Your tax dollars at work! Sheesh, why can't the president fly coach and rent a car like everyone else.

Amanda said...

Is that why Luke said you were now voting for McCain?

Emily-Ione said...

Where was your anti aircraft weaponry?